


Room and Board

by Reneeyanceywriter



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Homelessness, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:33:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 46
Words: 29,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22533307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reneeyanceywriter/pseuds/Reneeyanceywriter
Summary: Claire is pregnant and homeless. Jamie has a big house with lot's of room. Claire has a sad backstory and Jamie a huge heart. Jenny and Ian think him nuts but, he must help her. Something deeper then reason is at play.This story played in my head all last night. When a story keeps you awake, it must be written.
Relationships: Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser
Comments: 633
Kudos: 332





	1. Park Bench

He sees her right away. She lays curled around either a bairn or a very pregnant belly. The thin blanket that covers her or them is hardly adequate for this cold Scottish night. That and the wood and metal of the park bench cannot be comfortable.

He sees homeless people several times a week. He will give them some coin and wish them well but something about this lass prompts him to do more.

“Lass,” as he gets closer he sees she is pregnant. He doesn’t want to scare her so he doesn’t touch her, just softly calls to her. “Lass. I wish to help.”

She sits up slowly. Ah Dhai, she is so skinny other then her protruding belly. “Sorry. I know I am not to be sleeping here. I will move on.” English, he doesn’t expect that. 

“No lass. You needn't. I wish to help you.”

“Help how?” she is leery as she has a right to be. Alone with a bairn on the way, her being suspicious of him is right and proper.

“It is far to cold to be sleeping outdoors especially with a bairn on the way.”

“Oh right.” She looks down at her stomach as if she had forgotten she was expecting.”So do you have a solution Mr.?”

“Fraser. James Fraser. Aye lass, I do. My home is far to big for just me. My sister recently married and moved out. Our parents have passed..,

“Hold up. You want me to move in with you? You don't know me or I you.”

“True. But, look lass. “

“It is Claire.”

“Claire. You need a place to lay your gead softer then a park bench and I need..”

“Yes Mr. Fraser, what do you need?” Her arms cross and she glares at him.

“Not that! Truly. I need someone to housesit, do a bit of light housekeeping. I travel, for work you see. Am only home a few days a week. The place gets dusty and that closed in smell. I can offer you room and board as well as, a bit of coin to buy what you and the bairn need if you will come stay in one of the guest rooms and keep the place looking lived in.”

“Mr. Fraser, how do you know I won't steal you blind?”

“I don't but you seem a sensible woman, unlikely to bite the hand that is feeding you besides, if you did, that would be your sin to bear. Mine would be if I walked away without trying to get you and the bairn under a roof.”

“I will come with you. Because I made a promise to the child to do right by it. I warn you that I know how to defend myself.” He smiles as he offers his hand to help her up. 

“Good to know. I promise you that you will not need it as long as you are with me.”

He is of an impressive height and built. A bit over 6 feet tall with muscles she feels under her arm as she takes it, she prays he is the good man he portrays himself as. But, if not, what more could really happen to her?

The car is warm. That and the motion soon laws her to sleep. He smiles when he sees it. He was glad she is getting some real rest. He carefully wakes her when they arrive.

“Claire, wake up. We are here.”

“Oh. Right. Okay.” Her eyes are huge.

“You are safe.” He softly says as he comes around to open her door.

“Thank you. I ..” whatever else she is going to say trails off as she sees the house. The bloody castle. He chuckles.

“Welcome to Lallybroch Claire.”

“You.. This.. Ah..”

“I know. She has been in my family for 300 years. Her size is intimidating but, there is only a small part that is lived in. I am slowly restoring the rest.”

“Good. That is good.”

He leads her in. “The great room. Yes, the fireplace works. I use it as my office but, you are welcome to use the sitting area. It is quite relaxing to watch the fire, I've found.”

“Thank you.”

Further in, he shows her the kitchen and bath. “There is a bathroom on the second floor also, where the bedrooms are. Come, I will show you.” He leads her up the gently winding staircase. “This room is the biggest guest room.” He opens the door to a dream. A canopied bed, old dressers and a wardrobe. The curtains are ivory to match the slightly darker color of the walls, and they fall to the floor. “Does it suit, Claire?”

“What? Oh yes. It is way more then.. Look, I can a smaller room. A maid's room maybe.”

“Claire, you are my guest. You could stay here without doing a thing, if I didn't fear insulting you.”

“In that case..”

“Come, I will show you the loo on this floor. I will then get you something to sleep in. We will go shopping tomorrow.”

She follows him into the bathroom and another shock. “It is a bloody clawfoot tub!”

“Aye, we wanted to keep the auld feel of the place. You approve?”

“Very much. One of my foster homes.. Well.”

“Your story after a bath, food, and a good nigjts sleep, eh?”

“Sounds lovely.” He finds her a t-shirt and the smallest longing pants he owned.

“They will be to long but you can roll them up.”

“Thank you. Perfect.”

“I will leave you to bath. Oh, there is also thick wool socks. Your feet must stay warm. When though, come find me in the kitchen.”

After a bath that felt one step away from heaven and warm comfy clothes, She pulls her, now clean, curls up in a bun and goes to find her benefactor.

He is making soup and toasted cheese sandwiches. “I can do more. I just thought, lighter is better, right before bed.”

“It is perfect.” He sets the bowl and plate, as well as, a glass of milk, in front of her. She eats with deep gratitude. It has been a long time sense her belly was full and she was warm and clean. After she carries the dishes to the sink and washes them. He watches with a smile.

“Are you full Claire? I can make more.”

“I am. Thank you. It has been awhile since I have felt so well seen to.”

“I am glad I could help. Ready for sleep then?”

“I am.” He walks up with her. 

“I am at the end of the hall, to the right, if you need me.”

“Thank you. Good night Jamie.”

“Good night Claire.”


	2. Claire's Backstory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire's angst feeled backstory.

She wakes the next morning, stiff from sleeping so well. The smell of coffee and breakfast drew her downstairs. Jamie, dressed as she was, stands at the stove flipping eggs.

“Good morning Claire. Did you sleep well?”

“Wonderfully. Thank you. Good morning.”

“There is coffee or I have water on for tea.”

“Coffee. I know I shouldn’t drink to much while pregnant but, I only have one cup, when I could get it, to get me started in the morning.”

“Aye, I understand.” She makes a cup and then sits and watches him. After a few minutes, she feels guilt creeping in. 

“May I help in some way?”

“No lass. Breakfast is the one meal I make well. I fear the others aren't so..”

“I can do the others. Really. I can cook well. It is a skill I had to learn.”

“Ah. Well, you can tell me all about it after we feed you and the bairn.”

“Deal.” She knows she has to. But to relive it. He has been so generous and kind. He deserves to know all about the stranger he brought into his house. After breakfast, she cleaned up as he started the fire in the Great Room.

“It is the best talking spot in the house.” He explained. She joins him after. She sits with her hands clinched on her lap.

“I was five when my parents died.” She starts out. “I was in school. I remember the lady from the office whispering something to the teacher and her eyes getting huge as they found me. ‘Claire Beauchamp, please go with..’ Funny , I can’t recall her name. I do recall the way it felt. All eyes on me knowing it was something bad. Real bad. They told me in the head matron's office. A crash. They both passed instantly. Everyone was crying but I just felt numb. A lady from the state came. There was a whispered conversation. ‘No other relatives. She will have to go to the girl's home for now' They lead me out and put me in the back seat of this huge car. I never returned to that school.” She pauses and looks from her hands to the fire. 

“The girl's home wasn't bad. But, I was only there a few weeks. Time enough to understand that death meant they weren’t coming back. Then it was foster home after foster home. I was lucky though,” She turns to him,” I had my own suitcase. Must didn't. My parents bought it for me a year before this. So when I moved, I didn't have to carry stuff in rubbish bags. Most foster children did. They weren’t bad. I wasn’t harmed. I just wasn’t loved. I was a strong willed child. No one wished to keep me. When I was thirteen I started my first job. I knew, you see, that in five years I would be on my own. My case worker helped me open a bank account. I started saving. It was a good thing to because,” She stops again, turns back to the fire, and says, “Well I will get to that. I love to cook. I tried to pick up a new recipe from each of my foster families. I worked in restaurants So, I graduated and aged out, the same year. But, I had my savings so I got my own flat. Life was, okay. For six months and four days.” She reaches, with shaky hands for the tea she had brought in with her. Jamie helps steady the cup.

“Thank you. He was waiting outside my flat. I couldn’t afford one with high security. I never saw his face nor heard his voice. He waited until I had the door open and followed me in. He placed a clothe over my face and that is all I recall until I woke up to him in me. Masked with gloves. I was to shocked to scream. He moved off me after he finished. He just walked out. I should have called the police, went to the hospital. It would have changed all if I did. But I was in shock. I had never, you see?”

Jamie, who had been fighting a growing rage, is jerked back to her by the question. He saw alright. She was a virgin. He just nods afraid of what his voice would reveal.

“I got on. It is what I had always done. I continued to work. Fought the sleepless nights with sleep medicine. I didn’t think about it. Until I realized I was late. My cycle was. I thought about getting rid of it. How could I not? But, I have no family. No one I know who is genetically related to me. No matter what, this child is a part of me. Getting on was harder. I pushed through, or tried. The morning sickness was all day and lasted more then three months. It just eased up two months ago and I am seven months. So, after awhile my boss got tired of it and fired me. I couldn’t get hired anywhere else pucking all the time so.. My savings lasted until two months ago. Then I was unable to pay rent and kicked out. No job. No flat. Pregnant by an unknown man. I tried shelters but, they are so dangerous. The street was safer. I ate at soup kitchens. Stayed with a friend here or there. So, that is my story. One last thing, I couldn’t kill the baby but, I don’t know that I am keeping it. I think I will, mainly because I can't see my child in the system and then think, but how can I. To see his face, everyday, in my child.” She gets quiet. He does too, digesting it all. 

“Claire, I am sorry. I know that isn’t much but, I am. I will help you in any way possible and will support whatever you decide to do with the bairn.” He has more to say. Like he is sorfy her childhood, planned future, and first time, was stolen. That he wishes to avenge her. He prays the baby will look like her so she is freer to keep it. 

“You already have. You have given me hope that I can pull out of this hole and make decisions for this baby not based on fear. Thank you for that and for listening.”

“You are welcome. For both. I think shopping is just what you need.”

“Jamie I don't do crowds well.”

“Well, then it is good we can do it online.” .   
“


	3. Jenny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenny reacts to Jamie's houseguest.

He watches her later as she moves with unexpected grace around the kitchen. She insisted on making lunch and, since he usually just makes a sandwich, he let's her. The smell of simmering meat and vegetables fills the air and his stomach gives a load growl. It gives him away. She looks back.

“Sorry I.. Well, it is just nice to see the kitchen being used as it is supposed too.”

“It is a very nice kitchen.”

“Aye, Claire, I need to call my sister and tell her you are here. We co-own the estate, you see. She lives with her husband. He has his own house but..”

“I get it Jamie. Really. Do as you need to.”

“I wilna tell her you are pregnant. Tis' private, eh? If you give the bairn up she need never know. If you don’t then there is plenty of time.”

“Thank you,” her hand drifts to her bump for a moment. “But, won't she want to meet me?”

“Aye, but we can put it off for two months. She is still a newlywed.” Claire grins at this. He grins back and is shocked when his heart gives a lurch. What is this then? To cover her adds,” I will go ring her then.”

“Okay. Jamie, whatever info she needs to feel comfortable with me being her, you can tell her. I have nothing to hide.” He nods and goes to call.

“Jenny. I have something to tell you. I've a house guest.”

“Who?”

“Ye dinna ken her.”

“Her. Well brother, about time.” He can hear the glee in her voice.

“No it isn’t like that. I hired her to house sit while I am traveling.”

“Oh. Well tis' needed. Where did you find her? What agency?”

“No agency. I found her on a park bench. She needed a roof. I needed help here so..”

“So, you picked a lass up off the bloody street! Have ye lost yer head brother?”

“No Jenny. Look, she is a sweet lass. Can cook, clean..”

“Drug and alcohol free with nae mental health issues? Christ Jamie, there is a reason she is homeless!”

“Was, and I ken her reason Jenny. I ken her story.”

“What she has told you. Do you know it is the truth?”

“Aye.”

“How?”

“Look Jenny, she has said I can tell you whatever I need to of her story for you to feel comfortable with her being here. But, as you doubt her words, have Ian run a background check on her.”

“I will and you should have before allowing her in our home James.”

“It was the middle of the night Janet. What would you have me do, tell her to hold out a bit longer, shivering in the cold while I run her record?” The raised voices draw Claire in. 

“Jamie?” He jerks around and tries to smile at her. “Is everything all right?” He moves the phone away.

“My sister's husband is a lawyer. Would it be okay if he did a background check on you? It would ease her.”

“Of course. I told you I have naught to hide. It will be fairly boring. What does she need?”

“Full name, birth date, id number.”

“Is she ready?”

“Janet, have you paper and pen handy?” She answers yes. “Her name is Claire.”

“Elizabeth.”

“Elizabeth Beauchamp. Date of birth.”

“Oct 30th 2001.” He repeats it and her ID number. “Let me know if you two have need of anything else.” He rings off and turns to her. “I am sorry.”

“For what? She is just looking out for you. I would do the same had I been blessed with a sibling. Come Jamie. Let's eat and you can tell me about your family.”


	4. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie and Claire discuss their families and the bairn as thry grow closer.

“So, tell me about your family?” They both sit in front of the fire. Claire sits with her legs stretched out across the couch. Jamie sits on the end and manly resist rubbing her feet.

“Well, how far would you like me to go back?”

“Your immediate family will do. Any sibs besides Jenny?”

“No. Just us. She is two and a half years older and never lets me forget it. “ She laughs and it is the sound of angels in his mind. He swallows hard and continues. “ Our parents were Ellen and Brian. Mam was strong willed. Ye always ken’d when you were on her bad side with just a look. But, she also was the most loving woman. Her hugs could heal all the world's policies, or so it would seem. Da, he was her calm center, her steady place. Ours too. When in his presence, naught could touch us.”

“What happened to them?” She has sat up and moved a bit closer. Not touching him but close enough to.

“With mam, it was an accident. She was shopping in Edinburgh. Crossing the street at a crosswalk. The car, it's breaks went out. The poor chap pressed on the break so hard he tore his Achilles tendon. But, he couldn’t stop. She passed instantly.”

“How old were you?”

“Ten with Jenny just twelve. She took over as the lady of the house. From then on, it was her looks I feared. My da, he passed three years ago. Was working in the field. Just collapsed. Twas' a stroke. He also passed instantly.”

“I am sorry Jamie. I am not sure which is worse, to really know them and lose them or only have vague memories.”

“What do you recall of your parents?” He asks as he gets up to place another piece of wood on the fire.

“I recall my mum smelled of roses. That I have her eyes. My dad, he was tall. Almost as tall as you. When he lifted me up, I felt like I was flying.”

“Good memories all.” He rejoins her and she nods.

“Yes. I makes me smile to think of them. I wonder whether it is better to have just a few good memories or none at all.”

“The bairn.” He looks at her bump and sees the movement. Her hand drifts over but doesn't touch it.

“Yes. If I keep it, will I be able to provide good memories? If not, will the child wonder about me, wonder why I didn’t want him or her?”

“The fact you are already thinking about those things shows you will be a good mam. I understand that it is complex. I canna nor wilna pretend to completely understand but, I can tell ye are a strong woman. If ye choose to keep the bairn, ye will provide good memories for him or her.”

“Thank you. I validate between knowing I can not keep him or her and not imagine not.”

“That makes sense.”

“It is my child. My blood. But also his. I don't even know what race he was. His eye or hair color. I do know he is sick and evil. How much of that will this baby inherit? That is my biggest fear.”

He moves a bit closer. “Claire, may I?” He gestures towards her bump. 

“Sure.” 

He lays his hand over where the baby moves. The child moves up and meets his hand. He grins.

“I am not saying this child is a blank slate but, there is a lot that the child becomes is based on their raising. He or she has over half of you. I say over half because the bastard that sired him or her, will have no part in the raising. Either you will by raising him or her or by helping to choose those who will.”

“I hadn't thought of that.” Her hand rests beside his, their hands almost touching. “You have given me more to think about.”

“Well, you have time.” 

“Yes.” They both sit for a moment and feel her child moving under their hand.


	5. Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They discuss what Jamie does and what Claire is expected to.

“Oh, I am sorry.” He comes back to himself slowly and to the knowledge that his hand was still on her stomach.

“It is okay. Kinda nice. No one else has. Usually it is the daddy or grandparents. This one has neither so..”

“Aye. I am sorry Claire. For that and..”

“Truly I don't mind. The human touch has been something I have missed. Your invisible out in the streets. It is nice to be seen and touched.”

“Well ah.. You’re welcome.”

“Jamie, I hadn’t asked. What do you do for a living?” Sensing his discomfort, she decides to change the subject.

“I am owner of the Lallybroch Whisky Company. During the spring, summer, and fall, this is a working farm. It was also a distillery, until it got to big. It is now based in Edinburgh. All that goes into our whiskies are grown here.”

“Oh that is nice. So, you travel to..?”

“Sell. We are all over Europe but wish to get into America. Their laws and regulations on such are a bit more involved then ours so I must meet with lots of people. Lawyers and such.”

“Understand. When do you have to leave again?”

“In two days. Will be gone two days. I will make sure you and the bairn have all you need. “

“Oh I’m not worried about that. It is just..”

“Aye.” He turns towards her and finds her eyes.

“What do I need to do? I just want to make sure I am doing what I need to.” He smiles. He would rather her do naught but rest. She had earned it. But, he knows she will feel that she is taken advantage if she isn’t doing something. So he answers for her pride.

“I will make you out a list and make sure you have non toxic cleaning supplies. But look Claire, I do not want you to overdo it. If you get tired, feel any weird pains, promise me you will take a rest?”

“I promise.”

“I will leave my phone number. You will also call should anything seem amiss?”

“I will.”

“Good. Now let's get some healthy cleaners ordered.” He picks up his phone and does.


	6. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Jamie prepares to return to work, he worries about leaving Claire.

He stocks the house with food and anything else she thinks she may need. Safe cleaning supplies, clothes, and a cell phone with his number programed in it.

“This isn’t necessary.” She protests as she stands in the kitchen. She is quite adorable in her maternity smock and pants. Her hair is pulled up in a messy ponytail and her feet are covered in fuzzy socks. He watches the bairn move around and smiles.

“Aye tis'. This house hasn't had a home phone in over ten years. If something were to happen, I would need to know about it.”

“Right, “ she looks down on the little phone. She hadn't had one in years. “the house. You must keep an eye on the house.”

“Not just the house.” She looks up, meets his eyes for a second before dropping them again.

“I will call you if anything was to happen.” 

“The code for the alarm is here.” He points to the note held up by a fridge magnet. “Memorize it or place in a note in the phone. Enter it before opening and when you return inside. It will rearm it.”

“I don't plan on going anywhere Jamie.”

“I ken but to check the post, pick up packages, you will need to. Besides, you may wish to go out. You are not a hostage here.”

“Thanks but there is no place I would rather be.”

He feels a surge of pride that she would rather be here then anywhere else. That she feels safe and comfortable here. “Good. Claire please do not hesitate to call or text if you need me.”

“I won’t.” He realizes he is delaying leaving. That in four days, he had became so attached to her, that he didn’t wish to leave her. Oh boy!

“Okay. I must be off. You will be okay?”

“Jamie, you are a dear. I've a warm place, warm clothes, a nice comfy place to sleep, plenty to eat, and a job to do. All under a secure roof. I am very okay, thanks to you. Go to work. I will be just fine.”

He smiles, reaches out and squeezes her hand before touching her bump. “Okay. Bye Claire. Bye little one.” One last look, a deep sigh, and he walks out.

“Well that was weird kid. He acts like he doesn’t wish to leave. I know he trusts me. “ She walks over and memorizes the code and adds it to her phone as well. Five- thirty -one- ninety-five. A birthday she bets. His?   
After she gathers up the new cleaning supplies and gets to work. She wants him to return home to a clean and fresh house. It is a way to prove her worth. She will also have some food made up. 

He sits in the train on the way into London and frets. He knows he has made it as safe and comfortable as he can for her but he still worries. She is stubborn and used to handling all on her own. Will she call him if something were to happen? With the house, aye. But what about herself or the bairn? He fears not. With a sigh, he picks up his phone and fires off a text to her.

‘All alright?’

She is dusting and singing along with a song on the music app on the phone. It stops as the phone ‘dings' then restarts. She walks over to it and sees the text. 

“Alright, it has been two hours.” She tells the child before responding.

'Yes Jamie. Nothing has happened in the last two hours.’

'Sorry, I just worry. And not about the house.’

'Sweet. The baby and I are fine. Promise.’ 

'Okay. I will let you get back to what you were doing. I will try not to worry.’

‘Worry is sweet. It has been awhile since anyone has.’

'I… ah… am glad.’

‘😀😀😀’

She places the phone back down and returns to dusting with a huge grin.


	7. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie comrs home and is shocked by his reaction to her. They talk about the future

He slips into the house two days later and follows the sound of music. He stops and stares at her. In a bohemian type dress and barefoot, she dances around the kitchen, singing along to the music coming from the phone, a type of country-pop. Her hair is in a messy bun for cooking but a few strains have escaped and curl around her face and neck. He suddenly wants nothing more then to tuck them back up. His hands shake with the urge to. 

He must have made a small noise for she stops and turns. “Christ Jamie! You scared me.”

“Sorry.” He voice isn't his own, effected by her beauty and his hearts reaction to it. She frowns.

“Are you feeling alright? Worn out from traveling? Come sit.” She takes his arm and leads him to a chair. “I will get you something to drink. Dinner will be ready soon.” She places a glass a whisky beside him and he is quick to take a restorative sip. 

What is this? He can’t be attractive to her, drawn to her? She is so fragile despite her outer strength. She needs his friendship and nothing else. He firmly tells himself this as he sips the whisky and watches her work. God help him! She is bloody beautiful. The child responding to it's mam's movement and the music, seems to dance with her. 

It isn’t just her, he realizes with a sinking heart. It is the bairn. If she gives it up, how will he handle it? It is her right and, in her position, he can't say he wouldn’t do the same but..

“Come Jamie, I've the dining room made up. I wanted to make your homecoming special.” He helps her carry the food out and catches his breath at the sight of the dining room. The table is set perfectly with some of his better china.

“It is very lovely Claire.” 

“Told you I know something about the art of food preparation and presentation.”

“Aye, ye do.” He pulls her chair out and joins her. “Is it what you want to do? As a living?”

“Hmm, I guess it is. I hadn’t really thought of it. Dreams and the future seemed so out of reach.”

“It isn’t anymore. You can do catering out of here if you wished. The kitchen is equipped enough.”

“Truly!” her eyes shine at the reawakening of a dream she thought long dead.

“Aye, I could be your partner. Finance it until you can. I can have a barrister draw up papers. We can discuss details over the next few months while awaiting little one’s arrival.”

“That would be incredible! Thank you Jamie!” 

“You're welcome. I just wish to offer you a second chance. A step up. You deserve it. Let's eat, eh?” He is uncomfortable with how she is looking at him. Like he is a savior. He didn’t just wish to be such to her. He wished, err, he mentally shakes himself. Enough of that. He will be her friend. That is all unless.

“Jamie?” He looks at her understanding he had missed a question.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“I asked how the meetings went?”

“Very well. We should be in the states within the year.”   
He talks over his meetings and she tells him of her days. It is comfortable and easy.


	8. Prenatal Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Jamie convince Claire to let him set up prenatal care for her?

He has been thinking. She had falling asleep the previous night, on the couch. He had carried her up to bed. He is shocked at how light she was even in advanced pregnancy. He wonders how much, if any, prenatal care she has had.

He decides to ask her when she wakes. He knows she won't like it but, he will pay to have her and the bairn checked out. No matter what she decides, he knows she wants the bairn healthy.

She wakes in bed but doesn’t recall coming up. Did he bring her up? She flushes a bit at the thought. Stretching, she works herself awake and walks back downstairs. She finds him at his desk, frowning over some papers.

“Hi, did you take me upstairs?”

“Hi. Aye, I did. I thought you would sleep better there then on the couch.”

“I did. Thank you. What are you working on?”

“Have a seat, Claire. That is something I wish to talk with you about.” She does, on the other side of the desk.

“Something wrong?” In her life, she is constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“Oh no. I dinna mean to scare you. I was looking over OB's to find the best one that will see you soon. I found a husband and wife team. The husband is an OB and the wife a midwife. I think they will be a grand fit.”

“Oh. You needn’t.”

“So, you have a provider?”

“Not exactly.” She looks down at the papers scattered over his desk. “I have had some prenatal care. Just not lately.”

“When?”

“Three months ago.” She looks up and meets his chest, not wishing to see into his eyes. “All was well then.”

“That is good. But, Claire, no matter what you decide, I ken you wish a healthy baby. Will you please let me see to this?”

She nods. “Yes. Thank you. I know it is needed. It was just hard at the time.”

“I dinna blame you. May I make an appointment, then?”

“Please do.” 

She has an appointment the next day.


	9. Ultrasound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A prenatal appointment, an ultrasound, and a few surprises.

She is a bit nervous. She had tried, even while living on the street, to take care of the baby. But, what if she had messed up? What if she had neglected some crucial bit of nutrition at some crucial time? What if?

“It will be fine. You are a good mam and the bairn has a healthy kick. I am sure all is fine.” Jamie tells her as they drive to the doctor's office.

“How?”

“You've a glass face Claire. All you were thinking just went across it.”

“Oh. Thank you for pulling whatever strings you pulled to get me in so soon. I know there are usually waiting lists.”

“You are welcome.”

They are soon pulling up and he comes around to open her door. He helps her out and, to his surprise, she keeps ahold of his hand. 

“Claire Beauchamp.” She tells the lady at the reception desk. She is soon filling out forms.

“So much I have to leave blank.” She tells Jamie who is scanning through a magazine about pregnancy. “Nothing about the father. Very little about my own parents.”

He doesn’t have answer for her so, he just places his hand over hers. She smiles down at his hand before continuing. 

She is soon called back and asks Jamie to come with her. After being weighted, vitals and a urine sample taken, she is placed in an exam room.

“Jamie, did the nurse seem a bit taken back by my weight? I don’t think I weigh to much?”

“You don't. You weigh to little. That is probably what she was thinking.”

“Really?”

Before he can answer, the door opens. “Hello Miss Beauchamp. I am Gillian Abernathy. I am the midwife here. My husband, Jo, is the OB.”

“Hello. I am Claire and this is Jamie.”

“Nice to meet you. Jamie, are you the father?”

“No. I am..”

“No he isn't.” They speak over each other. Gillian holds her hand up, silencing both as she scans the medical information Claire had provided.

“Nothing on the father?”

Claire knows she must tell her. Taken a deep breath, she says, “This child was conceived in rape. I know nothing about him. Didn't see his face, hear his voice. He is a complete mystery. My parents died when I was five, that is why there is little on them.”

“I see. You have been through quite a lot Claire. But, you are still here, doing what is best for your baby. That takes a strong woman. Now, let's check on the stranger.” She lays her down and measures her. “28 weeks. Very good. Claire, we usually do an ultrasound at this stage. I would strongly recommend we do one now due to all the unknowns and your lack of prenatal care.”

“Yes. Whatever you recommend, I will do.”

“Very good.” A few minutes later, she is running the wand over her. “See, the baby's toe, a leg, see the heartbeat, arm, fingers, and, there, the sweet face.” 

“Oh!” It comes from an awed Jamie. Claire stares, with tears running down her face. Her child. 

“Your eyes and ears. The shape of your cheeks, chin.” Jamie softly catalogues what he sees of her in the bairn. The lips and nose are from the father.

“Would you like to know the gender?” Oh. Would she? Would it help to make the decision she has to make soon? Seeing him, parts of him, for the first time, in the face of her child, is hard enough. But, maybe knowing will help her to bond more with the child and that will help her decide. Jamie had stopped watching the baby and is watching her. He gives her a reassuring smile.

“Yes please.” Gillian moves the wand a bit until it lands between the baby's legs. “Can you tell?”

“A girl right?”

“Yes. You are having a girl.” She didn’t realize how much she feared having a son, a son conceived in rape anyway, until that moment. Tears of relief rang down her face. 

“Thank God.” A whispered prayer.

“Didn't want a son?” Gillian is taken requirements of the baby and recording them.

“Not now. Not with..”

“Ah understand. Okay Claire, she is doing just fine. A bit on the small size but not dangerously so. You are too. Small, underweight. I am going to tell you something that I rarely tell my OB patients, I need you to gain weight. You are malnourished. I am putting you on a prenatal vitamin, that I want you to take twice a day. Three full meals with healthy snacks between. I will see you in two weeks. I would like you to gain at least ten pounds In that time.”

“But she is okay?”

“She is. She was your body's priority. It was all going to her. I am concerned about you. Labor is hard work. The hardest thing you will ever do. You must be physically strong. So, pretend you are eating to bulk up for a marathon, because you are. Lot's of protein, fruits and vegetables, lot’s of greens, dairy, and avoid the low fat. Right now your body needs it. “

“I will do all you say. I couldn’t before. I was on the streets. Thanks to Jamie, I can eat right now. Do all I am supposed to be doing.”

“Good. You know the warning signs, back and/ or abdominal pain, swelling in the face, hands, or feet, severe headache, water or bleeding. Any of that, you come right in or go to hospital.”

“I will.” She gives her a stack of pictures from the ultrasound, a list of foods to eat more of, prenatal vitamins prescription, and a appointment card.

“Jamie, take care of her. If she is awake, I want her eating?”

“She will be. I will. Thank you Gillian.”

“A girl. A daughter.” She softly says as they drive home.

“Yes. You like that?”

“I do. I really feared a son and am, a bit more likely to keep a daughter.” She is staring into her face, their face, her and her rapist's. She is trying to see only her but something is suddenly very evident. “Oh God!”

“So, you see it too.” He pulls over. “Her race. His.”

“Yes.”


	10. A Question of Race

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What race is the little lass and what secret is Jamie hiding?

“It is in the nose, the shape of her lips. The parts of her that are not mine but..”

“Hers,” he says. “Hers. You must think of these differences as belonging to your daughter not..”

“Not the black bastard that started her in me. Right.”

“I think it is the only way you can see her. Really see her. Claire, do you have a problem with her race?” He didn’t know her, really know her, despite the fact he is falling hard for her; and therefore has no idea if she harbors any racist thoughts.

“No! Oh no. I don't mind the fact that she is biracial. That her other gene provider is black. It is just, a white baby, conceived like she was, would have a hard enough time finding a permeant home in the system. A biracial one… This is one thing I know. People that come looking for a baby want one of their own race, usually, with out a lot of baggage. A rapist father is huge baggage.”

“Even for me. It is why I was so relieved when I found out that she was a girl. I feared a boy would be like his father.”

“I get that. And now, have you any thoughts on whether you wish to keep her?”

“Only a thousand. I don’t wish her growing up in the system. Passed from foster home to foster home. But, I know I will see that man in her. I will try to just see her but I am not sure how successful I will be.”

“How about this, I take you out and feed you and the little lass. I promised Midwife Abernathy that I would keep you feed. We can discuss it over lunch.”

“Thank you Jamie. Sounds perfect.”

He takes her to a buffet. He approves of what she fills her plate with, meats and veggies. As they eat, they continue talking.

“Name her. She should hear her name from you, even if it is only for awhile.”

“I can. I will need to choose one.” She replies as she spears a brussel sprout and places it in her mouth.

“You haven't chosen? Sorry, tis' just that my sister has the names of her bairns already chosen.”

“Pre planner. What are they? I promise not to steal them.” He smiles across the table at her.

“Margaret Ellen who will be called Maggie and James Ian. He will be called Jamie. I tried to get her to name him Ian James but, she said since I nay not have children, someone had to carry on my name.”

“Why does she think that?”

“So any ideas?”

“About why she thinks thus or the baby's name?” 

“The baby's name?”

“I will let you change the subject now but we will come back to it.” He sighs and shrugs. She has shared the darkest part of her past with him. He can surely do the same.

“Deal. I will tell you in front of the fireplace.” She nods, finishes clearing her plate, pushes it aside, and focuses back on him. 

“All I know about my grandparents were their names. My grandfather was Douglas and my grandma was Rebecca. My parents were Henry and Julia. So I was thinking Rebecca Julia or Douglas Henry. So Rebecca Julia.”

“Beautiful. A Becky then?”

“No, a Becca.”

“Nice.” He looks down at the bump. “Hi Becca. It is nice to formally meet you.”

She giggles and the sound does things deep in his heart. He catches his breath. To try to cover, he asks if she wants dessert.

“Truly, I am to full to eat another bite.”

“Okay. Then lets get you and Becca home.”


	11. Gerri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie tells her of his past love. They draw closer. But, is Jamie the only one feeling it?

They sit in front of the fireplace. She sits on one side of the couch. He on the other. She sips a protein shake he has made for her as she waits for him to talk.

“Her name was Gerri.”

“Gerri?”

“Short for Geraldine. She despised that name and who could blame her. So went by Gerri. It suited her.”

“Understand.” She has started to run her fingers over the baby bump and is either responding to Becca's movements or Becca is hers. He watches with a smile as he continues.

“She was smart, well educated, sweet, funny. We liked the same things and wanted the same things for the future. She was so beautiful. I thought she was the one. The person I was to spend my life with, have children with. We dated for over a year.” He moves his eyes from her moving fingers to her face. “ I brought a ring.” Something in his eyes must have told her that he was getting to the rough part of the story. She moved closer and laid a hand over his.

“I decided to surprise her. Gerri didn’t need fancy dinners and grand gestures. Down to earth, she was. I went to her house. I had a key. Let myself in. I was the one surprised.” He looks down at their hands and sighs. She goes to move hers, thinking he is responding to her. “No please. It isn’t you.” To prove it, he links them together and gently squeezes. “Surprised by soft moans and a creaking bed. God! I saw red before I saw her, my would-be- fiancée, in bed with another man. They both jump when her bedroom door hits the wall. I wanted to kill them.”

“What stopped you?” It is more then an academic question for her. She feels the same about her rapist. If she knew where he was..

“Jenny. It was just six months after da died and before she started dating Ian. I was all she had in the world. I couldn’t go to prison and leave her alone. So, I turned and slammed out. She tried to contact me, called texted, left frantic messages on social media, until I blocked her. Then she approached Jenny.” He chuckles,” Big mistake.”

“What did she do?”

“My sister has a temper, you ken. She told her that I was coming to propose. That she could have had all this,” He gestures around the room with his free hand,” as they were standing in this room at the time, “ if she wasn’t a hore'. That she was to leave me alone or they would ne' find her body. Then she slapped her and ordered her out of the house.”

“Go Jenny! Have you seen her since?”

“Aye, in the newspaper. Her wedding announcement. She married the bloke she was shagging.”

“I am sorry Jamie.”

“Thank ye but it is naught now. I see now she wasn’t the right one. But Jenny worries because I have dated none else since her.”

“How long ago was that?” He finds himself drawing designs on the back of her hand with his thumb and stops. He squeezes it again and lets go. To cover, he stands and adds a log to the fireplace.

“Two years.”

“Wow, you loved her that much?”

“I thought I did. It is hard when you are wealthy to ken whether the lasses see you or your money. Trust, ye ken?”

“I do. Trust me. My only experience with sex was the rape so..”

“Twasn't sex. It was violence and control. Love making joins heart and soul. I am sorry that you’ve yet to experience that.”

“I am not sure I ever will. To trust a man with my body. To be so vulnerable. How to I even begin?”

He still stands and isn’t sure if he should rejoin her. Does she feel it? What is flowing between them? He takes a steading breath. “First you find the right lad. He is out there. Then it is one step at a time. Slow. Getting to know each other. Friends first.”

“She is out there for you too. Someone who will see you.”

Do you see me? He wants to ask. Instead he takes his own advice. Slow. He sits back beside her. “Thank you. Finish the shake, please.”

“Yes sir.”


	12. Night Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Jamie, kept awake by their thoughts, They talk and Jamie comes up with an unsual proposal, to help her keep her child.

She can't sleep. She know she needs to. She and the baby need it. But, her thoughts keep her awake. She lays on her side, her hand resting over her daughter.  
Her daughter. Her daughter for now. Whether she would still be after her birth was another thing that keeps her awake. She could keep her now. Jamie offers her the opportunity too. But can she see her and not him? A deep sigh with a turn to the other side.

Him. The beast that took her virginity and started this child in her. She will labor to give her birth and then have to decide her future all without the benefit of receive any pleasure in her making..

Another deep sigh. She has never been that much of a sexually needy person. While other girls giggled about it, she thought it just sounded messy and uncomfortable. But, as her pregnancy progressed and she starts to have real boobs for the first time in her life, she starts to feel desire.

She knows from reading that it is hormone induced. She knows it is meant to bind her to the child's father but. What is she to do with these feelings now?

Since she is being honest with herself, she might as well admit these feelings have become stronger since she has moved in with Jamie. Whether it is the stage of pregnancy or the man himself, she can't say. Or won't. What a mess! She sighs again and stands. She needs the loo and to move. She thinks better while moving. 

“Claire?” She jumps, startled by her deep thought by his voice in the dark.

“Jamie, I just needed the loo. A constant thing as Becca here seems to be constantly on my bladder.”

“Of course.” He steps aside to let her pass. She hurries through her business and walks back out. He still waits in the hall. “I know it is late and you were probably sleeping but..”

“I wasn’t. My thoughts were to heavy.”

“Mine too. Can we talk?”

Heart pounding with the possible implications of those three words, she nods. He leads her downstairs and into the parlor. Seeing her face fully in the firelight, he hurries to reassure her. 

“Tis' nothing bad.” She lets out her breath and joins him on the couch. “I have just been thinking about Becca and the future.”

“Me too.”

“How could you not. I understand why you may not wish to keep her and if that be your choice, I will do all I can to help you with it. But, if you wish to, I've an idea that may make it easier.”

“What is that because my heart is pulled towards keeping her. She is my flesh, all of my family. Besides, I know how difficult it will be for her in the system. So anything you can offer to make it easier, not that you haven’t done enough. I would have no option but giving her up, were it not for you.”

“I am happy to help, “ he bites his lip and twists his fingers. The lass may think him mad. But. “The lass needs a father. I offer myself in that role. I was thinking, you see, if we were married then no matter her race, legally she would be a Fraser. Protected by my name and clan. As would you be."

“Married?” she stares at him with wide eyes.

“I needn't be a marriage in practice, if you don't wish that. Just a legal ceremony to provide you protection.”

“But Jamie, marriage. It is huge. I always imagined marrying for love.”

“You would be. Love of your child. You do care for me, don't you?”

“Quite a bit Jamie. I am awed by all you have already done for us.”

“We can marry and get a divorce later, if you wish. She would remain a Fraser.”

“I wouldn’t wish to. You are the only man I have ever fully trusted. Of course, if you meet someone you want a real marriage with..”

“We can cross that bridge if we have need. Is that a yes?”

“Wow. Yes it is.”

“We will make the ceremony soon.”

“Jamie, ahh, can we have a real wedding night?” He looks at her with his mouth open. “It is just, the pregnancy is making me.. And I would like to experience some pleasure in the act before the pain of labor.”

“That is logical. We can.” They just look at each other and grin.


	13. You Dinna Have To.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An incredibly sweet, hot wedding night.

“You dinna have too.” They stand in his room after returning from the marriage ceremony. It had been a simple thing, a trip to the register's office. He wore a suit and tie. She her best dress and an veil she had found. “To make me feel like a bride.” A joining of hands, a few words, sign the license, and it was done.

“I know. I want to. I want you. I just fear disappointing you. I've no experience outside.. And I want it to be good.” She shyly confesses. She stands in her bare feet, having pulled the stockings and shoes off as soon as she entered. The veil still covers her head. She is unbearably beautiful.

“It is impossible for you to disappoint me. Claire, you can’t give more then yourself. We will go slow. Because, you see, I've some fears too. With your only time being, well I don’t wish to do anything that brings any of those memories back.” 

“Very sweet. I don’t think you will.” She didn’t want to tell him, at least not know, the specifics of her rape. But, she seriously doubts her will do anything that brings it back. Now what, she thinks. How does one begin? She looks up at her husband. He smiles down at her. 

“May I kiss you, Mrs. Fraser?”

“Yes please.” They hadn’t at the ceremony. To many, look they just made it, looks. So, they had hurried out, license in hand. He looks down at her lips, licks his own, and lowers them.

She has been kissed. The first time at twelve, as she walked with one of her foster brothers to the store. The last by a man she worked with before all these began. But, never with the care Jamie showed. He treated her like she was made of the most fragile crystal. He didn’t force the deepening of it and they kissed, closed mouthed until she wanted more and touched her tongue to his. He opened with a groan.

Their tongues tangle together as their bodies move closer. His hand skims down her side before finding her bum and pulling her even closer. It is hard with Becca in the middle but she feels his want of her.

“Please.” She breathes against his mouth. In answer, he starts to undress her. She does the same. She unloosens the tie and eases it off. Unbuttons his shirt. He is easing the dress up. It had just slipped over her head so no buttons or un zippers to undo. She eases his shirt off, exposing muscles merely hinted at under his daily business wear. He lifts her dress over her head, dislodging her veil. 

It is impossible to find sexy underwear and bra's that fit a seven plus pregnant body so, she put on her fanciest. The bra has a bit of lace on the top. The knickers are a bit fancier then the standard white cotton.  
She stands still, arms at her side, and waits his reaction  
.   
“Claire, you are so beautiful, stunning truly.”

“Do you need glasses Mr. Fraser? Can you not see the stretch marks that criss- cross my belly up to my boobs, that are not normally this big and vein filled.”

“I have perfect 20/20 eyesight. Always have. Aye, I see the scars of your battle. They make you the strong woman, the courageous woman, that is ny wife. I see naught but beauty when I see you.” She doesn’t look convinced so he knows he will have to show her. 

He just ghosts across her tummy and up, barely touching her skin. He watches the goosebumps chase his fingers. Her eyes darken as her breathing gets labored. Good. His next touch is more deliberate, applying pressure to her skin as he runs over it. When he reaches her breasts, he cups one of them. He lets his thumb come up and touch her over the cloth.  
“Aw.” Escapes her lips as her nipple comes up to meet him. He pushes the bra out of the way and and touches her bare skin. “Oh!” She grabs on to his shoulders for support. Very sensitive nips she has. The pregnancy is part of it and he knows he needs to be gentle. Sensitive they may be, but also tender.

He kisses down her chest before reaching the nipple he had been playing with. He licks around it and is rewarded with his wife's ‘ Oh God!’ He cock hardens more. He will have to wait. He will see to her pleasure first. He reaches back and unhooks the bra. He cups one, running his thumb over her nipple while continuing to lick and gently suck the other. 

He has lead her to the side of the bed and kneels before her. He pays homage to the part of her that has been driving him crazy for awhile. Her soft cries and her hand, holding him in place, spur him on. She taste so sweet. It is making him slightly mad. He long to taste more.

He knows to be careful, gentle. Not to blow into her, to risk air getting to where Becca lies. He kisses down her belly, over their daughter. The endorphins flowing through her mam's blood stream have her active. He sooths her with Ghaildhig as he kisses down. 

She lays back, waiting to see what he will do next. He already has her feeling so good. Better then she ever had. He kisses her thighs before easing her knickers off. Her breathing gets faster. Was he going to? 

She smells amazing. Strong of her desire and of the discharge caused by the pregnancy. It doesn’t put him off but draws him in. He runs his tongue over her.  
“Oh God Jamie! Please!” she can't vocalize what she is asking for. She doesn’t have to. 

“Relax my wife. I've you.” He says before setting off to prove it. He licks and nibbles until she is panting over him. He then sets into sucking.

The pleasure dissolves her. For the space of time it is running through her, she feels above herself, outside her own body. Like her spirit had to leave unable to handle the waves of pleasure that leave her shuddering and gasping, her legs tight on his head. She came back to herself slowly.

She becomes aware that her legs still hold him and loosens them. Aware that her daughter got a shot of the same hormone and is quite active. Aware that her breasts feel way to sensitive to touch. Her own heartbeat, throbbing in her chest. Her breathing, a gasping rhythm like the kind she got while running track in upper school. Lastly, Jamie’s grin from between her legs where he still lay, head against her thigh.

“You.. That was… wow!” 

“You are welcome ma'am.”

“Please, come here. Get undressed and come here.” He is quick to obey her. She runs her hands down his body, exploring the muscles that lead down his belly. Her hand shakes a bit as she touches his cock. She closes her eyes as she feels around it and farther, over the silky skin of his testes. Her husband's. Not..

“Are you okay? Again, we need not.” He says even as his cock grows harder under her hands.

“I want you. I want to feel you inside me. Please.” 

“Aye. I want you too. So bad.” He lays her on her side and eases himself between her legs. It seems the easiest position in her advanced pregnancy. He eases himself carefully inside. He keeps his eyes on her so he sees when they start to darken again in her pleasure. He moves a bit farther in then out. He keeps up this rhythm until she gasps, tighten her hands on his chest and shoulder.

“Oh Jamie!” she breaths. He has never felt more like a man. He moves a bit faster, to expand her orgasm and find his own. “Yes! Oh please!” Her head falls back and he falls against her neck as her climaxes himself.

“So, that is what it is supposed to be like?” she inquires a bit later when she can breath again. 

“Yes, something like that. But, it was more. Due to it being a wedding night maybe.” He knew it was more, at least on his end. But, unsure how she felt, he doesn’t say. There is a bond between them he is loath to mess with.

“Yah. I wouldn’t mind sharing your bed. Can we keep doing this?”

“Oh aye. We can. Rest now mo ghaol. I've you.” She curls against him and does. He lays awake a bit longer, watching her.


	14. Mrs. Fraser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire meets Jenny.

He leaves to file their marriage license the next morning. He leaves her dancing around the kitchen with a huge smile as she cleans up after breakfast. He knows he has served her well. It feels his eyes with tears and his heart with pride. He walks up and kisses her before slipping out.

“You won't be long?”

“No. No more then an hour.” He kisses her again and pulls away with a groan. Lord, the want of her. It is a living thing gnawing at his gut. “Or sooner.”

She is dusting the bookshelf forty-five minutes later when she hears the lock open and front door, open.  
“Earlier indeed. Very good Mr. Fraser.” But it isn’t Jamie who walks through. It is a short woman with dark hair and her husband's cat slant, blue eyes. Janet or Jenny, his sister.

“Jenny!”

“You have me at a disadvantage. You know my name but I don’t know you and you are in my brother's home.” She stands with her arms crossed and glares at her.

“Claire. I am Claire.”

“Claire. Jamie didn’t tell me you are pregnant. Where is my brother?”

“He left to file our marriage license.” She finds the courage her husband so admires and stands straight and proud.

“Your what now?” her eyes shoot up to her brows.

“Marriage license. I am Mrs. Fraser. Claire Fraser.”

“So the bairn is his. You trapped him, didn’t you?” Her face transforms from shock to anger, in seconds.

“No!”

“Aye Janet to the first part of your question. Nae to the second.” Neither had heard him come in until he spoke. He walks up and takes a shaken Claire into his arms.   
“Sorry. I didn’t mean for you to find out this way.”

“You get her pregnant. She finds you after seven months, you do as your raising dictates and marry her.”

“No. Only the last part of that is right. Please have a seat Jenny and we will explain.” She does with a huff. They sit across from her. Claire holds tight to his hand. “I meet Claire, for the first time, exactly as I told you.”

“Then how?”

“Please listen all the way through before asking questions.” She nods and he goes on.

“The bairn isna biologically mine but she is my daughter. Her other genetic contributor is Claire's rapist. She has fought to overcome a lot. More then most experience in a life time. She has shown herself a courageous, kind, hard working, loving woman. She has asked for nothing that I have given her. Has actually fought against some of it. She could, now, take care of Becca on her own financially. She is an excellent cook and baker and I am helping her start a catering company. But, Becca needed a name, a clan. So, we got married. She will be a Fraser in everyway bar biologically.” He stops and waits for Jenny's reaction.

“I am sorry. I can’t imagine what you are and have experienced. But, how did you end up pregnant. They give things to prevent that at hospital.”

“I didn’t go. I was shocked and a bit numb. I tried to pretend it didn’t happen. Just carry on. I came back to myself when I was late. I knew it was his. I was . virgin, you see. I struggled. I thought about.. But I couldn’t. The child is mine also, my only biological family. No matter what, a piece of me would be out there.”

“So you thought of putting the baby up for adoption?”

“Strongly. But, I grew up in the system. I wrestled with placing my child in that situation. I would have had no choice had your brother not found me. Now, I can keep and raise her. Rebecca Julia.”

“Fraser.” Jamie adds with a grin.

“ It is a good thing you have done brother but.. No offense Claire but you are a stranger and Jamie is wealthy.”

“We've a pre-nup.” Jamie says. She looks at him with relief. “Claire insisted. But if we were to divorce, I would still see to my daughter and her mam.”

“You insisted?”

“Yes. I also intend to make this catering business a success. I will not be living off your brother. I nor my daughter.”

“We will be partners in the marriage, the rearing of Becca, and in business.” 

“That is a relief. I ne' meet to offend, ye ken, it is just..”

“Please, if I had been blessed with a brother or sister, I would feel the same.”

“So okay. You are my sister-in-law. This one could have at least invited me and Ian to your wedding.”

“Sorry Jenny. It was a five minute service at the register's office. We will have a proper celebration after the bairn comes.”

“I will prepare a tea and we can discuss it.” Claire offers. She stands, with Jamie's help and he stands with her. “Be right back.”

After she walks out, Jenny turns to her brother. “You love the bairn. Do you love her mam?”

“Aye. Aye I do.”


	15. PTSD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire has a nightmare. It leads to a conversation and a posdible ID on her rapist.

Her cries woke him. He immediately thinks of the baby. Is it time? Early but possible. He turns to her, reaching and she shies away.

“Don't!” Curt and filled with fear.

“Claire, is it the bairn?” He tries to inject a note of calm into his voice. Her reaction worries him.

“No. Where are my clothes?” Her question has a note of hysteria in it and he suddenly understands. She had a dream or flashback to the rape. They had made love and fell asleep with him spooning her, his hands resting on Becca. She is now as far away as she can get, huddled with the bedclothes wrapped around her. He quickly finds her gown and hands it to her. She disappears under the covers to slip it on. He pulls his pants back on also. God, did he do something to cause this? Move a certain way, make a noise that reminded her?

“Claire, I am sorry. I didn't mean to.”

“Shhh, you didn't. Just give me a moment.” He quiets and just watches her as she struggles to get herself together. She carefully monitors her breathing, clinches and unclenches her fists. After a few minutes, she is able to look at him.

“Our lovemaking is not even close to the rape. It wasn’t a direct cause of the nightmare. I just, it is knowing you see, her other race. The dream started out with me in labor. But, it wasn’t you who was standing by me. Holding my hand and helping me to breath.” She looks down at the belly, runs a finger over it. “She is asleep. Was active earlier. The adrenalin dump from the nightmare, I guess. No, it wasn’t you. I knew a black man. He used to come into the restaurant. Always ordered the same thing. I didn’t see him after. He could have moved away, of course, there could be any number of reasons. I don’t know. But, it is his face my unconscious placed as the rapist. His face in the man who was by my side as I labored.”

There is so much he wants to ask. Was he still around? Did he watch her? Has she seen him outside the restaurant, following her? But, he knows not to interrupt, to let her tell it at her pace, saving any questions for last. He yearns to touch her, to protect and comfort, but doesn’t. She will let him know if she needs that. 

“She came out, with his face. Just his face, no part of me. He took her. Just lifted her away, walking out. I tried to stop him and he laughed. Said,’ she is mine. Has no part of you. You were just a womb. You can't take care of her.’ I was then back, back to that park bench, back to having no hope. I was alone, Becca gone, you gone, even he was gone. Then, it faded to the rape but, this time I saw him, that face. That is when I screamed myself awake.” 

“May I touch you?” he carefully asks. She nods and moves closer. He takes her in his arms. At first, he is silent, just holding her as the shudders run out of her. When she has relaxed some, he says, “I can tell you what you already know. That bad dreams about the delivery and newborn are common, that they are made more intense by the circumstances of her conception. But what I will emphasize, over and over, is that you will never be alone again. You have my name, Claire, you and Becca, my name, my clan, my family, the security and protection of my body. He will ne' harm you or place his hands on our daughter, as long as I draw breath.”

“Jamie,” she closes her eyes as a wave of relief runs through her. Our daughter! “Thank you. It does help. Do you think it is him or just who my subconscious choose for the role?”

“Well, did he ever look at you in a way that gave you the creeps? Follow you outside work? Anything like that?”  
She thinks on it, pressed tight against him. “No, not that I recall. Even if it is him, I am not sure I wish to know. I just wish to move on from here.”

“I am not sure that is possible. We know she has a lot of your features,” His hand slips between them and strokes over where Becca rests,” But also some of his. Claire, what about counseling? Would you consider a bit of counseling?”

“Yes. I want to be the best mum and wife I can and counseling may help with that.”

“And with being the best Claire. That is most important.” She smiles against his chest.

“That too. Thank you Jamie for always being who I need when I need it.”

“Thank you for the same.” She drifts back off in his arms. He lays awake a bit longer, thinking.


	16. To Early!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby Becca is on the way at only 8 months.

“Oh no no!” Jamie, who had been packing for his next business trip, hurries in to the kitchen where his wife was. At first he thought she had spilled something. There is a small puddle of liquid under her. Then he sees her face. He quickly puts two and two together. “My waters have broke. It is far to early.” Said calmly before she breaks into tears.

“Eight months is not to bad. Don't panic love. I will just ring..”

“We know nothing! The breaths, the stages, oh bloody hell, her crib isn't even set up yet!”

They planned on a full day, last minute lamaze course when he returned in three days followed by a hospital tour and finishing the nursery. Now..

“Claire, women have been doing this for many a millennia without all that. You will not be alone. Come love, let's get you cleaned up and ring the Abernathy’s.”   
She is a bit calmed by his calmness. She lets him lead her into their room. He helps her out of her wet pants and into dry ones with a thick napkin to catch the waters. He rings the Abernathy’s and is told to bring her right into the office first. As he is talking to them, he gathers up what he thinks they will need at the hospital, extra clothes, phone chargers, lollys( he kens she can't eat in active labor), tennis balls in a sock for her back( he had done some reading) and Becca's homecoming outfit and some nappies. The carset was already in the car. 

“Come love. We need to head to the office.”

“Not hospital?”

“They wish to check you first.” She stands and the first of the many pains to come, grips her. She stops dead and reaches for him. He places the bag down and takes her hands. “Breath with me.” He isn't sure he is doing it right but, it helps steady her and that is all that matters. When it releases her, he hurries them to the car.

“Well, you are in labor. Close to three cms dilation and fifty percent effaced.” Gillian tells her. She had rode out five contractions since the first one and is glad they are doing something.

“So, to hospital?” she asks.

“Yes, I know you are concerned about her being early. But, she is strong and healthy. She has gained weight as you have and, though still will be small, baby Beauchamp should be just fine.”

“Baby Fraser. Rebecca Julia Fraser.” Jamie corrects as he helps his wife through another contraction. “We are married.”

“Sorry. With everything forgot to..” she stops as the pain reaches it's peak. They breath through it.

“Okay. Glad you did. I wouldn’t have found you under Claire Beauchamp.”

“No. For her, you see, to give her a daddy.”

“I see. Congratulations.” She sees more then that. She sees the way Jamie looks at her. Convenience for her but love for him. She prays he isn’t hurt.

“Thank you.”

“Off to hospital. I will be right behind you.”

He is separated from her during check-in. He takes the time to make some phone calls. First to his business partner and Godfather, Murtagh.

“Jamie lad, where are you? The train leaves in less then an hour.”

“I can't cone. You know the material better then me. You can do it alone.”

“Why can't you come?”

“My wife is in labor.” Dead silence. He really had buggered thos whole thing up. This is the first time hearing about any of this. 

“Your who now?” 

“It is a bit complicated. I've no time to give you a full explanation. Ring Jenny. I promise to sit down and explain it all as soon as possible.” He rings off before he can say more and rings his sister.

“Claire is in labor. Murtagh kens but only my wife is in labor. I had no time to fill him in. Will you?”

“Take a breath brother. Aye, I will. Keep us updated. We will be praying.”

“Thank you Jenny.”

“Son of a bitch, this hurts!” Claire cries out as she stops and presses her back against the wall. She and Jamie had been walking for hours. The contractions or' the bloody pains straight from hell' as Claire calls them, have been getting longer and closer together. Her ability to take them with grace is long gone. 

“Breath love. It is almost over.”

“I want to pull his cock and balls over his bloody head and down to his arse. Then he may feel what I am.” She declares. He winces at the thought and at the knowledge of the pain she is in.

“I can’t do this anymore. I want to go home. I will come back tomorrow. Okay?” she asks Gillian and Jamie a few hours later.

“Sorry luv. You are almost at seven. It will be over soon.” Gillian sooths. Jamie cringes. He knows the worst is coming.

"Bloody f*cking hell!” Her grip on Jamie's hand tightens to the point of pain but he says nothing knowing hers is so much worse.

“No Claire! Use that energy to breath. She and you need oxygen.” Gillian orders. She tries, he he, breathing with her for a few seconds. But, as she reaches the crest and feels like she being torn into pieces, she screams. It is all she can do.

“Good Christ! Can't you give her something?” 

“It is far to late. She is to close.”

“Help Jamie! Oh please!” There is nothing he can do but assure her it is almost over.

Transition lasts but twenty minutes, fifteen contractions, right on top of each other. It is the closest they come to experiencing hell on earth. When Gillian says that she can push, they both breath deep sighs of relief.

“Press down as hard as you can. Good. Just like that.” She sits, knees up, her back against Jamie's chest.

“Wait! Oh, how will they know that she is ours? I mean, you know.”

“A band will go on her hand that matches you guys' as soon as she is born. No worries there. Another contraction. Push.”

It turns out to be the easiest part. With her being a wee thing. A few good pushes later, and she is crowning. A few more and she is slipping out.

“Here she comes.” As her body clears her mam's, she has the band placed around her right hand and she is lifted up on to her mam's chest. Her startled brown eyes meet her mam's honey colored ones.

“Oh, it is you. Hi.” Claire says, through her tears as she strokes her hand over her soft black curles and over her strangly pale skin.

“Hello lass. I am your daddy.” An equally choked up Jamie adds.

After a few minutes, in which the afterbirth is delivered, Jamie cuts the cord and she is taken away to be weighted, measured, and bathed. She is returned wrapped up in a pink blanket with a pink cap on her head. 

“Four pounds ten ounces. Eighteen inches long. But very healthy.” Gillian announces as Jamie cuddles her.

“Her skin. Will she stay light?”

“No. It takes a few days for black and biracial babies to get their true color.”

“Okay. Small but okay?”

“Yes. You did good mommy.” 

“Do you wish to breastfeed her?” a nurse asks after she gets Claire cleaned up and comfortable on a clean bed.

“It is best for her. Yes, let’s try.” She helps her position the baby, shows her how to get her mouth open wide and how to make sure she takes all the nipple and areola. She is soon contentedly sucking. Jamie walks back in from making calls.

“Jenny says congr.. Oh look at her!”

“It is so weird. It feels so weird, in a good way. Though it makes my uterus contract. It will help, they say, us both.”

“I can see that.” He watches with a grin, softly touching her head. “God, she is a beauty.”

“She is. A relief. I can see… but I see her more.”

“It is what I was praying for.” She smiles and rest her head against his shoulder.

“Rebecca Julia Fraser. Mother: Claire Elizabeth Fraser. Father James Mackenzie Fraser. “ She feels out her birth certificate with a huge smile. The protection the Fraser name offers is tremendous. Jamie signs it with pride. She is now a Fraser, protected by a clan almost as auld as Scotland.


	17. Meeting Becca

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Becca meets her Uncle Ian and Aunt Jenny and Jamie officially claims her.

Jenny and Ian arrive later that day. Jamie, with Claire's permission, had called them. Jenny is anxious to meet her niece and Ian wishes to meet Claire. They knock on the door and Jamie gets up to answer it.

“Jenny, Ian, come meet Rebecca Julia Fraser and Ian, her mam, Claire.” 

They walk in and Claire smiles from the bed. “Hello Jenny and this must be Ian.

“Aye. Claire my husband, Ian Murray. Ian, Claire Fraser, Jamie's wife.” 

“It is nice to meet you lass.” Ian steps up and offers his hand. 

“You too. Would you guys like to meet our daughter?”

“Oh aye.” Jenny replies, her arms ache to hold her brother’s child. She reaches into the bassinet beside her and carefully lifts her out. The baby startles and then settles back at her mam’s touch.

“Meet Rebecca Julia Fraser. Becca, your Aunt Jenny and Uncle Ian.”

“Oh!” Jamie, standing beside Claire's bed, watches Jenny's reaction to his daughter.” I never expected her to be so beautiful. May I hold her?”

“Yes.” She transfers her carefully over. Jenny stares down at the baby. 

“Hello, pàisde bòidheach. I am your Aunt Jenny. I know all about your daddy. You can ask me anything.”

“Oh God.” Jamie says with a laugh. “I am in trouble now.”

“Ian, do you want to hold her?”

“I fear breaking her. She is so wee.” He confesses as he softly strokes her silky soft hair.

“She is tiny. Not even five pounds. But healthy.” Claire says. Jenny hands the baby to Jamie, with reluctance. 

“Are you nursing her?” Jenny asks.

“I am. I know it is best for her.”

“Good. Ah, did you know?”

“About her race? Yes, from the ultrasound. I didn’t see him.”

The talk of Claire’s rapist reminded Jamie of something he wanted to do. There is no better time with his family gathered.

“Claire, there is something I would like to do. I wish to pledge fealty to her.”

Ian and Jenny gasp as Claire looks confused. “What is that?”

“I small blood vow. Not her's,” he is quick to add,” Just mine. I draw a cross on her forehead and say some words as I promise to be her daddy.”

“I guess it is okay. She doesn’t have to keep the blood on her, does she? It might flip the nurses out.”

“No.” He hands the lass to Claire and takes out the pocket knive he always carries. He whipes it and his thumb with an alcoholic wipe. He then just pierces his thumb. Kneeling before his wife and daughter, he makes the sign of the cross with his bleeding thumb.

“Rebecca Julia Fraser, I pledge my loyalty and feality to you. I claim you as my daughter, from this moment on. You are my child as if sure as if I had made you myself. I love you Becca Fraser.” As his wife and sister weep, he takes a clean alcoholic swap and wipes her forehead. After he kisses that same forehead.

“Christ brother, that was beautiful.” Jenny, who very rarely cries, says through her tears. 

“Jamie, that was.. I am speechless.” Ian comes up and slaps him on the back. 

“Grand job Jamie.” 

Becca, unaware that she has been claimed in a way as auld as her daddy's family, sleeps peacefully through the whole ceremony.


	18. The Ladies Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenny seeks some assurances from Claire.

“Jamie can you go see where lunch is? I am starving.” Claire asks Jamie an hour or so later. 

“Oh aye.”

“Go with him Ian. Give me a moment with Claire.” He looks to Jamie who nods. They walk out together. Claire looks to Jenny who has taken Jamie’s seat beside her. 

“I am listening.” Claire says. Jenny adjusts herself in the seat before starting.

“Jamie, he loves Becca madly.”

“I know.”

“Do you know about Gerri?”

“Yes. He told me. I had shared my biggest hurts with him so he did the same.”

“Good. So you know how much loving anyone, given his heart so freely, is?”

“I do. I am honored at his trust in me and his love for our daughter.”

“Becca will never harm him, or no more then any child seeking her own identity apart from her parents, does. But, you can. By taken her away from him.”

“I would never!”

“I know you believe that now. But, this is a business marriage. Were you to fall in love, what then?”

“Jenny I can't see the future but, there is a reason beyond business, I said yes to him. I trust him. I trust him with her.” She lifts the softly whimpering baby up and places her on her breast. When she is fully engaged in nursing, she turns back to her aunt. “A marriage of business and convenience, it may be, but a real marriage also. It has been consummated.” Jenny looks startled and Claire smiles. “I know. I surprised myself. After her conception.. But I wanted and needed to feel something besides horror when I thought of sex. Before given birth. I asked. So, I understand your fears Jenny. But, Jamie and I are true partners. This marriage is unorthodox but real. I will be going nowhere.”

“I am glad to here it. You know he..”

“Claire, my wonderful, strong, courageous, mighty wife. I present lunch.” Jamie comes in with a flourish. “I see Miss Becca is having hers. I will just seat this on the table here and swing it over when she is done.”

“I still have a free hand.” She says. He grins and places it on the table and adjusts it so she can reach it. He helps her adjust so she can reach, lifting lids off trays, placing the flat wear and things within easier reach.

“Okay, we will let you both eat and go buy a present for the princess.” Jenny says.

“Thank you sister for everything. Ian, can you help me set up her crib tomorrow morning?”

“Absolutely.”

“While you two are doing that, I will make sure all else is in order.” Jenny offers.

“Jenny, Ian, thank you both.” Claire says.

“It is what family does.”


	19. Homecoming Preparation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie and Ian set up cribs and talk about another way to keep Becca safe.

“So, we are setting up two?” They stand in the room that will be a nursery looking at the two boxes containing cribs. Jamie nods.

“Aye. You see this one goes against our bed. Allowing the lass to sleep close but on her own firm mattress but be close enough to feel her mam and be nursed. The other is for as she gets older and is no longer nursing at night.”

“Logical. You won't mind having a baby in the room with you?” He asks as he starts to open the first box. 

“Oh nae. I want my daughter to feel secure. To ken that we are there for her. I can’t imagine her in a room apart from us being this young.” They pull the varied parts out and start to separate them. 

“So, it is just a business marriage, between you and Claire.” 

He looks up from the instructions and stares at his brother-in-law. “No. No we have.. and will when she is healed and all. There is other times and places other then the bed and night.”

“I see. You love her. Not just Becca.” He has started to assemble the legs to the first railing allowing Jamie to mask his face, if he has need to.

“I do. Christ Ian, she has been through so much. Trust and love is difficult for her. She trusts me with Becca. Tis' a start but..”

“Keep doing what you are doing. Loving her and the baby. Keep showing her you can be trusted. Time is what is needed.”

“Aye. Aye. I have ne' felt this way. I ne' knew I could. I thought I ken'd what love was with Gerri but no that wasn't. I would give my life willing, without thought for her or Becca. They are my world.” 

An hour later they have the nursery crib up and are starting on the bedside one.

“Jamie, I have been thinking. About Becca.”

“Aye?”

“I know she has your name but,” Jamie raises his eyes at him, “It is a great start at protecting her.”

“But.” He crosses his arms a glares at Ian. When it comes to anything effecting that little girl, he has no patience.

“You need to discuss with Claire about formally adopting her. Then there is no way that the bloody bastard that sired her could ever get to her.”

“I would kill him if he tried.”

“Aye. Let's try to prevent a murder charge, eh. Talk to Claire and I will have the papers drawn up.”

“Thank you Ian. I will.”

“Now let's get this crib in place. Jenny will be here soon to do her thing. We don't wish her thinking we are messing around.” Jamie laughs at this and, mentally shakes off thoughts of that man daring to come near his daughter. He returns to the job at hand.


	20. Murtagh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Becca comes home where she and Claire meet Murtagh.

They take their daughter home when she is two days old. Still very wee, not even five pounds, Jamie tucks pillowed cushions around her to keep her snug in the car seat. Dressed in a pink body suit that is a bit to big, with a pink band in her hair, she is covered by a small tarden blanket, and car seat and all, is placed in her mam's arms. They are both wheeled out but a proud Jamie.

He carefully snaps the car seat in place, facing the back. He then helps his wife in. He drives way below the posted speed limit, to Claire's delight.

“Jamie, she will need to be feed again in a hour or so. I would like to be home by then.” Is her way of telling him to speed it up some. 

“It is just she is so wee. I don't want to do not to harm her.” 

“You are a wonderful daddy.” She assures him. He speeds up a bit and they make it home before her. ‘I need to be feed' fussing starts. He escorts his ladies in. They find the house scrubbed very clean. Flowers in crystal vases he forgot he owned, fill the tables. He checks the kitchen and finds the freezer filled with, ‘to be thrown in the oven' meals. Jenny is a wonder. 

As Claire nurses the baby, he sets up an area by the couch. Nappies, A tall bottle of water, her phone and tablet, extra clothing, burb clothes, and blankets, for Becca, and the Mose’s basket, a gift from Jenny and Ian, beside her.

“Are you setting up for the day?” she asks him with a laugh.

“Aye. At least the biggest part of it. You are to be resting. She is to be nursing. I will handle all else.” Her eyes fill with hormonal tears. 

“Jamie,” She reaches out and draws him down, kissing him. “Thank you.”

As he stands back up, his phone rings. He looks down at it and frowns. Murtagh. With all going on, he had forgot to call him. 

“Murtagh I am..”

“Married with a bairn. This is what I get from you with nae other explanation. Jenny rings and says it is complicated. Now, I am coming by. I will meet your wife and child and you will explain.”

“Of course Murtagh but we just got home. Can you..?”

“I am at your door.” He then rings off. Claire looks up at him.

“Problem?”

“No just.. My business partner and, most important, Godfather, is anxious to meet Becca and you. He is at the front door. I can tell him to come back later or..”

“No.” She covers her chest and child with one of the receiving blankets. “I would like to meet him too.”

He opens the door to a scowling Murtagh. “To not be invited to your wedding and not know you were to be a father, how could you?”

“Jenny is right. It is complicated. Please, come in. Meet Claire and our daughter. We will explain.” He leads him in. “Murtagh Fitzgibbon Fraser meet my wife, Claire Elizabeth Fraser. Our daughter, Rebecca Julia Fraser, takes lunch under the blanket. You will meet her in a moment.”

“It is very nice to meet you lass. Though not to ken of you or the coming lass' existence..”

“Jamie has only know me for two and a half months. Please have a seat Mr. Fraser and we will explain.”

“You may call me Murtagh lass.”

“And you may call me Claire.” He takes a seat opposite her and Jamie one beside her. Jamie starts.

“I was walking back to my car after a meeting. I saw the lass curled around a pregnant belly or a baby, laying under insufficient covering, on a park bench.”

Taking turns, they told him all. All Jamie had done. Her past. How Becca was conceived. The reason they decided to get married. By this time, Becca had finished her lunch. Claire hands her to Jamie to get her clothing in order. He places her on his shoulder and rubs her back to bring up a burb.

“It is quite proud of you both, I am. You Jamie, for being the man I always ken'd you were and you Claire, for having the strength and courage, to see her to birth. May I?” He holds his hands out for the baby. Jamie gently hands her over.

“Guard her head and neck.” Claire instructs.

“Aye mammy, I've her. I held your husband at this age. But, he was no so wee nor beautiful.” He holds her in his hands and looks down on her. “Leanabh prìseil. Mar a mhionnaich mi airson d ’athair a dhìon, nì mi an aon rud dhutsa.” He vows.

“What did you say to her?” Claire asks. Jamie stares at him with teary eyes.

“He called her a precious child and promised to protect her the same as he promised my own mam he would do for me.”

“Oh wow. Thank you Murtagh! We haven’t yet discussed her Christening but,” She turns to Jamie. “ As Murtagh is your Godfather. It seems only right he is also hers.”

“Will you do us the honor?”

“Aye. Aye. I will. Thank you.”


	21. Colic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Jamie and Claire comfort their colicy daughter, confessions are made.

Becca starts crying at 6 that night. Her wails, as though the devil himself was after her, propel her parents into action. Jamie lifts her up out of the Moses basket, rocking her as her mammy prepares to nurse her. She had been dozing as her daughter did and is jerked back into conscious with a pounding heart.

“Goodness love, are you starved? Your mammy just feed you an hour ago.” He reminds the lass as she wails louder.

“Give her to me.” Claire requests. He does and she positions her. “Owe Becca! Christ!” Jamie drops down beside her.

“What is she doing?”

“She chumped down like she was trying to bite my nipple off. If she had teeth?”

“Yikes. Chill Becca.” He watches as she squirms around on her mammy's breast. She settles for a bit to some serious nursing before squirming again. Finally, she pulls away with a scream.

“God Jamie! What is wrong with her? Is she sick?” He doesn’t ken but takes her in his arms and attempts to find out. 

He runs his hand down her body, trying to determine if she is in pain. She jerks when he reaches her wame, pulling her legs up and crying louder. She has no fever or any other sign of illness. 

“I think she has colic.” He tells his freaked wife. “Let's see if I can help her.” He lays her flat on her tummy against his knees. He holds her close as he rocks her. Her cries slow before stopping. 

“Oh, her belly hurts.”

“Aye, may be do to being premature. Her poor wame isn't fully developed. I am just putting pressure on it.”

“What can I do?” She watches helplessly as he comforts their daughter.

“No spicy or greasy food. Bland for a bit. What you eat, she does.”

“Okay.” She reaches out to stroke her hair. She has fallen back to sleep. Jamie lifts her up to place her back in her basket. As soon as her belly loses contact with his knees, she is wailing again. 

“Whoops.” He lays her back down and starts to rock, bounce her again. Claire watches, worrying her lip. “Don't fret. She will be fine. She just needs a bit for her wame to mature.” He insists Claire lays back down and gets some rest while he sees to her. She does after he assures her, that he will wake her if there is need.

She curls up behind them and is soon back to sleep. He grins at her as he bounces the baby, singing off key softly to her. 

“You know wee one, I desperately love your mammy. I do. But, the person that started you in her, well, he put her off love for now. I pray that changes. But either way, I am your daddy and her husband. I am going nowhere. I will be here for you both.” The baby grunts and passes gas. “Oh, is that your response to me or your bio sperm donor. I will assume the later. I am sorry you are having such a hard start. I know you hurt. I would take it if I could. You and your mammy's. “ He slows his bouncing as she relaxes some. “That is it baby. Try to relax. You can sleep in peace. Both your mammy and I will be here.” A few minutes later, she is firmly out. 

He is unwilling to lay her on her back so, he moves to the other couch, lays the baby, tummy down, across his chest. He closes his eyes but doesn’t sleep. He just relaxes under his daughter’s heartbeat and the softness of her breathing.

Claire awakes a bit later. She looks frantically around for her child. She relaxes when she sees her, sleeping peacefully across Jamie's chest. She walks over and sees he is asleep also. She covers them both before kissing his forehead and her cheek. 

“I love you.” She whispers. But who is she talking to.


	22. Who Does She Love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, will Claire confess her feelings?

He pretends to stay asleep. Her words have his heart pounding. He prays she can't see. Was she talking to her daughter or to him or both? She turns away and heads into the kitchen and he lets his breath out. Christ! She wouldn’t have said it had she known he was awake. Does that mean she was also talking to him? The wee lass starts to root on his chest. He holds her close and walks into the kitchen with her. 

“Someone is hungry.” He declares. She turns from where she was cooking. 

“Me too.” 

“Okay. You feed the princess and I will feed you. Deal?”

“Deal.” She takes her daughter and a seat at the table. She lifts her shirt and places her daughter on her breast. He turns to the stove and finishes cooking the soup she was heating up. He serves it and joins her.

“Thank you for this and for knowing how to help her.” He smiles with a slight blush. 

“I did some reading. After knowing we were keeping her. I wanted to know what to expect so I read all I could. I am so glad it works. We will have to do it a lot. It may take some time for her to outgrow it.”

“Then I will learn to do it. I want to take the burden off you.”

“You ken neither of you are a burden?” he seriously says. She swallows hard and looks down. Becca is vigorously nursing and she watches her for a bit. “I didn't mean to embarrass you.”

“You didn’t really. Just.. I have been thinking. I don’t know if it is just all this. Hormones and all. So, it may be and I don't want to say until I really know.” 

“Claire?” 

“I know I am not making any sense. Sorry. I may be feeling things. Things I never thought I could. Never allowed myself to be open to. Even when I was carrying her, I couldn’t allow my self to love her. Because I wasn’t sure if I was or could keep her. It was only when I understand that I could that I allowed myself. That was all you. So it is mixed up and I don’t know which feeling is real and which is mixed up with a gratitude to deep for words. So, I need to try to sort it, if I can.”

It is a chance. He hesitates but only a second. “Claire, I love you too, you know. Not for or because of Becca. I love how wonderfully stubborn you are, how brave, how smart, how cautious, how brilliant. How the horror of the past hasn't made you bitter but stronger. Take your time. I just wanted to make it easier.” 

“Oh that..” her child’s wails interrupt. She slips her on to her knees on her belly and starts to bounce her. The poor lass wails louder. She looks up to Jamie.

“She senses your nerves.” He explains. “May I?” She nods and he takes the baby. Within seconds of being laid on her daddy's lap, she calms down. “It will be okay. My fault. I got you all nervous when I meet to calm you.”

“No. It is okay. I just need to think on everything. “ She touches his face and her baby's head. “I want to love you. I want to be free of the fear. Have patience with me.”

“I do. Always.” He kisses her hand. “She needs a new nappie. We will change her, give her a warm bath and try to get her to sleep.”

“Works.” She goes to grab a nappie and he watches her walk away with a grin.


	23. Christening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Becca is Christened.

The gown is beautiful. Stunning truly. White silk covered in lace. A lace cap will cover her head. Tiny lace booties for her feet. 

“It has been in my family for over a hundred years. I was baptized in it. Jenny was. Our da and his da.” Jamie had told her. To have her daughter wear it was such an honor. She feels her eyes fill with tears whenever she thought of it. 

Now it is the day. Becca is a month old. The fears of her prematurity have abated. Jenny, in tears, had agreed to be her Godmother. The service will be at St. Angus today. Jenny has set up a reception after, here at Lallybroch. 

All is ready. She nurses her daughter and changes her nappie. She is dressed in a body suit until they get to the church right before the ceremony. She dresses in a dress and Jamie in a suit. 

“You are beautiful.” He tells her when he walks in. She nervously runs her hands down her dress front where a small pouch remains from her pregnancy. “Beautiful.” He repeats. He sees the changes in her. The weight that she has gained, that she finds unattractive, he finds transforming. Her face had filled out, her arms and legs are no longer sticks. She looks healthy. With the glow of motherhood on her, she is so lovely she takes his breath.

“You are very handsome.” She tells him. He lifts the baby up. 

“The star of today. Princess Rebecca Julia Fraser. Ready Becca.” She just coos up at him. He grins. “I will take that as a yes.”

They enter the church where Jenny, Ian, and Murtagh wait with Father Thomas. He had been informed of the circumstances of Becca's situation and therefore isn't shocked at her appearance. She has darkened since her birth. She know has a walnut tan. Her black hair is curly but not kinky. Soft under the brush her mammy and daddy run through it. 

“She is so lovely.” Father Thomas says. “Hello Becca. After mammy changes you, we will get you baptized. Okay?” she stares at the stranger with her wide honey eyes. They had lightened and are now like her mammy's. 

Claire and Jenny slip her into the auld gown. She fusses a bit at having the cap put on her head. They add the booties and carry her out. 

He thought his wife beautiful. His daughter is glorious. A true princess in the soft white silk and lace. She is handed to Murtagh who carries her over to the baptismal. 

“Who offers this child for baptism into the church?”

“Her mother and I do.” Jamie proudly says. 

“You Murtagh Fraser and you Jenny Murray stand ready to assist these parents in the raising of this child as a child of God?”

“We do.”

“What is her name, this daughter of the King?”

“Rebecca Julia Fraser.” Murtagh says.

“Rebecca Julia Fraser, I baptize thee in the name of the Father, the Son, and The Holy Spirit.” He sprinkles the holy water over her and she just looks up at him. He finishes with a sign of the cross on her forehead. She is still quiet so Murtagh pinches her wee bottom. She let's out a wail.

“Why did you do that?” Claire asks him as she nurses her daughter. They sit in the back of the church with Becca still In her gown. It is Jenny that answers.

“So the baptism would take. If the wean doesn't cry, their sins still remain.” Claire looks to Jamie who is taken pictures. 

“Tis' true according to legend. Murtagh was doing his duty as her Godfather.”

“Well then, thank you Murtagh.”

At Lallybroch, where Jenny had set up a small reception: cupcakes in the shape of a cross, I Claire's favorite, Jenny and Murtagh gift Becca with a delicate gold cross necklace. 

“I ken she can’t wear it yet but will be able to. We wanted you and her to know you are part of the family. With nary a doubt.” Jenny explains as Claire weeps. “I ken you have concerns about her other bio parent coming around but Becca is a Fraser. She will remain thus.”

“Aye, she will.” Ian is taken his turn to hold her. She has been changed back into her body suit and he has her on his knees , bouncing her. “I will have the adoption papers ready very soon and we will send them to court. But, her baptismal certificate is also a form of ID. That, her birth certificate, and the adoption, are a triple threat. There is no way the creep can get through.”

It is a relief to her parents.


	24. Mammy and Daughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Becca weep together. She is able to let out some fears.

She tried bouncing, swaying, walking, even dancing. But still her child screams. Jamie had to go to a meeting today. Jenny and Ian had stuff they have to do and Murtagh is with Jamie. So, she is all alone. Her and Becca.

“Sweet girl, I don’t know how to help. Please tell me how to help.” She pleads with her as she bounces and sways, the baby held tight against her chest. Her baby responds with deeper wails. “Daddy has to work. He can't be with you all the time. You are struck with mammy.” She holds her closer, pressing her belly tight against her own.

“I know Becca. You hurt. I do too. Still facing issues from my own childhood and early adulthood.” A laugh with the edge of hysteria,” I am still an early adult, a mammy, a wife. Becca, it seems a dream sometimes. But, I get pain. So, my precious baby, cry all you want. Scream out the injustice. You've a right. Mammy will weep with you.” She sits back down on the rocking chair, pulls her knees up, enfolding the baby between her chest and knees. She rocks them as she lets all the held emotions out. The way she feels about being a mammy without recalling what it felt to have one, the overwhelming love she feels for her daughter mixed with a fear, to deep for anything but tears, about messing up. The exhilaration mixed with terror that fills her at the thought that a man as good as Jamie can love her. Does love her. The constant fear that her rapist is still a threat to her and Becca, despite everyone's reassurance. 

It all comes out as she and Becca cry together. As the sun goes down, Becca hiccups her way to sleep. Claire gently detangles them and moves to her and Jamie's bed. She lays down with her daughter still in her arms. Still holding her tight against her chest, she drifts off, with tears drying on her face.

This is how Jamie finds them when he walks in later that night. “Oh my loves,” he whispers when he sees their tear stained faces.


	25. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie and Claire talk about her fears.

He joins them, slipping behind Claire and putting his arm around them. She sighs and rest back against him.   
“Rough day?” His breath tickles her ear and she sighs louder. 

“Yes. Becca and I had a good cry.” She looks down on her sleeping daughter. She is curled, legs up, against her chest. 

“I am sorry I wasn’t here.” 

“You have to work.” The hand not holding Becca covers his. He links them and moves them closer.

“Aye. But I missed you. I missed you both.”

“We missed you. How was the meeting?”

“It was good. We will be expanding to some states in America.”

“That is wonderful.”

“Aye. Now tell me about your day. Was it her colic?”

“Yes. I tried doing what you do on my knees, rocking, walking, bouncing. Nothing worked. Finally, I just held her close and let her cry it out.”

“Crying with her?” his free hand traces the tear stains.

“Yes. It was suddenly all to much. The fear, can I do this, will he come about, am I enough for her and you. So many questions.”

“Can I help you with some of that?”

“Please.” He turns her and the baby around, placing Becca between them. He places her on his chest and holds her mammy to the other side. 

“You will always be enough for me. That, I promise.”

“Jamie, we barely know each other.”

“I ken you as the strong, courageous, fearless, loving, hard working, woman, who I am honored to be a husband too. You are a wonderful mother. Your worry for her, the empathy you show to her, the incredible courage it took to just have her. As for her other genetic half, I will kill him before he can get anywhere near either of you. “ he feels her tighten up and adds,” not that he will. She has and will have to many layers of protection for that.”

“Thank you Jamie. I will try to keep all that in mind.”

“Hey, you are a first time mam. Fear and doubt is normal. Whatever you don't know we will learn together.”

“You really are the best.”

“No, just a man who loves his wife and daughter.” She squirms against him. “Dinna fash love. You needn’t say it back until you fully feel it and are comfortable.”

“Jamie, I would like to start therapy, as soon as I can. I want to make sure I am stable enough to be who you both need.”

“We will arrange it. But, it is about what you need, not us.”

“All three then?”

“That will do. Now rest, mo ghaol. Unless she needs feed, I will not wake you.”


	26. Exhausted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Jamie talk over important things over an exhausted breakfast.

She leans against the counter. Her eyes more closed then open as she sips her coffee. Jamie stands at the stove, flipping eggs as Becca coos from the bouncy seat on the table. 

She is six weeks old today and her mammy has an appointment tomorrow for her post partum visit. She has a lot on her mind, a lot to ask her. She also has a visit with a therapist later on in the week. But right now she is trying to wake up.

The baby had woken almost every hour and a half to nurse. She is going through a much needed growth spurt but, lord was her mammy tired.

“Claire, sit down love before you fall down.” 

“I am afraid I will fall asleep.”

“If you do, I will wake you to eat.” She grins at him before sitting beside her daughter.

“Kiddeo, I am glad you are happy this morning. Truly but, you are killing me lovie.” Jamie laughs from the stove. He starts plating the food and brings it to the table.

“It will get better. As she gets older, she will need to nurse less. I ken it is hard now.”

“Look at her Jamie. Her little cheeks are getting fat, she is getting a belly. She is happy and healthy. It is so worth it. I will catch up on my sleep eventually.”

“That she is. You are doing so well. I am so proud of you.”

She rests her hand over his before she starts to eat. “Thank you. Recall I have an appointment tomorrow. You can come with me, right?”

“Aye. Claire are we going to continue to have a real marriage?” she looks at him confused. “I ask because if so, we need to discuss birth control. Nursing helps, a lot, but isn’t quite enough.”

“Right. I have done a bit of research. No hormones while nursing. So, I was thinking a diaphragm. Because yes Jamie, I want to be a full wife to you. But, I am scared. My only experience with sex has been rape and then while pregnant. It will be different now. I don’t want to disappoint you. My body is different. I know my…well…must be different. So..”

“You are a mammy. Of course your body is different love. You are so beautiful to me. So unbearably beautiful. Just because Geillis tells you can, doesn’t mean you have to. I will ne' pressure you. You decide when you are ready. She is wearing you out and I will not add my own needs to hers.”

“God Jamie! Thank you. I do want you. I will as soon as possible.” He smiles and touches her face softly. Their eyes say more then they can yet say in words. They stare at each other until a cry from Becca breaks through.


	27. Sitter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire leaves Becca with her first sitters, Jenny and Ian, to go to her first therapy appointment.

“You don’t heat her bottle in the microwave. Under running hot water only. Check the temperature on your wrist.”

“I know Claire. You truly don't need to worry.” Jenny keeps her patience with Claire going over the same thing, again and again. It is, after all, the first time she is leaving her daughter.

It is the day of her first therapy appointment. Jamie is taking her and Jenny and Ian is watching Becca. She had discussed taken her with her but, Jamie had talked her out of it. 

“You really need to focus on what you are telling Annie and what she is telling you. Even if I kept her in the waiting room, you would be listening for her cries and coos. You are an awesome mam, Claire. It is alright to let someone else watch her.”

This is why she is given directions to Jenny about her care. “You have our numbers. We won’t be gone more then a hour and a half. If she gets fussy..”

“We place her on our legs and bounce her” Ian answers.

“Right. I know, I sound obsessive.”

“You sound like a concerned mam. But love, we must go or we will be late.” Jamie reminds her.

“Right.” She bites at her lip, walks over and kisses her daughter’s cheek. “Mammy loves you. Aunt Jenny and Uncle Ian will take good care of you. Daddy and I will be back soon.” Jamie takes her hand and leads her away.

Annie is a sweet young lady with brown hair that falls almost to her bum. Her eyes are full of intelligence and kindness. She takes both their hands and shakes them enthusiastically.

“Claire, it is so nice to meet you. You and your husband. Jamie, wait out here, if you will. Claire and I will have a nice chat and I will bring her back to you.” She is full of energy. It made them both smile. Claire’s holds a slight hint of fear. 

“You will be fine love. Just be honest and yourself.”

“I will not force you to speak about anything you don't wish to. This is your time. Speak about whatever you wish.”

“Okay. Let's go do this.” Squaring her shoulders, she follows her in.


	28. Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire starts therapy. Will she admit to Annie how she feels about Jamie?

Annie Chu is very welcoming. She walks in her office that looks like a living room. 

“Not what you were expecting?”

“I really wasn’t sure what to expect. It is very comfy looking.”

“It is. I have found when my clients are comfortable, they are more open. You may seat anywhere Claire.” She choices an arm chair and pulls her feet up, her knees to her chest. Annie smiles at her as she seats across from her.

“How do we do this?”

“This is your time, Claire. Start however you wish. Talk about whatever.”

“I can tell you about my baby.” Annie nods encouragement. “Her name is Rebecca Julia Fraser. Called Becca. I didn’t think I would want her, be able to keep her. You see, I was living on the streets. Jamie, he saved me.” She tells her the story of their meeting, him taken her in, offering her the dignity of work.

“And now you are married?”

“That was for Becca.”

“So her dad?”

“Is Jamie! Sorry, I am not ready to talk about the man who helped make her.”

“That is fine.”

“He wanted her and I, to have the security of marriage, of his name. That is what I thought, anyway. But, oh God, he loves me Annie.”

“And you don't feel the same?”

“I, oh I, bloody hell, I fear I do. Love is not something I am comfortable with. I didn’t even allow myself to love Becca, not at first. To love a man, to be that open. He is beyond sweet, comfortable, trustworthy, really all a lady could ask for. He is the best daddy to Becca. I want to be open to loving him.”

“We can work on that. Would you like to work on that?”

“Yes please.”

“Okay. We will work on love and trust. Building the confidence you need to give yourself wholly to him and your child.”

“Perfect. I did okay, right? Not telling you yet about Becca's sperm donor?”

“At your pace Claire. Always. You did fine. So, same time next week?”

“Yes.” They make the appointment and she shakes her hand and hurries out to rejoin Jamie. Annie smiles at their hug. They hurry out to relieve Jenny and be with Becca.


	29. Home and Hearth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post partum love is made.

There is something about the night, home, in front of the fire, and nursing her child. Behind her, Jamie works at his desk, occasionally muttering an oath or exclamation at what the numbers tell him. She grins and switches Becca to the other side. Cleared to resume regular activities and fitted for a diagram, she is suddenly needful. She squirms a bit under her slowly nursing child craving another pair of lips on her.

“Are you almost done?”

“Aye, just a few more pages. The lass is ready for bed then?”

“She is. I think with a full belly and clean nappie, she will sleep for three hours or so.”

“That is good.” He is distracted and doesn't catch her undertone.

“Yes. But I don’t wish to sleep. Not right away.” She senses the stillness behind her before she hears him put his pen down and stand.

“Do you mean?” he asks as he moves closer.

“Yes. I am scared. With the kind of belly filled terror you get at the top of a roller coaster. But, also filled with excitement. We have never while I wasn't pregnant. My body has changed, inside and out but, God Jamie, I do want you.” Her confession is hoarse. Her arms so numb she barely feels Becca being lifted up and out of them. She watches as he changes her nappy without waking her. Watches as he lays her in the bassinet. He then joins her and runs his hands over her face and shoulders.

“The diaphragm” he asks.

“I placed it in before I feed her.” She says as she works the buttons of his shirt open.

“Smart lass. God how I want you.” Confessed as her hands find the springy hairs on his chest. “Jesus!”

“Yes! Please Jamie. Oh God please!” he finds her super sensitive nipples and starts to stroke them.

“I've you and you have me. We wilna let each other fall.” He vows as the rest of their clothes is removed with shaking hands.

“Yes!” in response to what he had said and what he was doing, hands exploring the softness of her belly and his mouth on her breast. “ Harder please.” With a groan, he does sucking and licking as his hand reaches between her legs. She is already wet and soft. He rubs his thumb across her clit. “Oh Jesus! Oh bloody hell!” she tightens her hands, one on his head, one on his back. She cries out his name as she finds completion.

He lifts his head as she reaches between them and guides him home. His quick intake of breath is the only sound he makes, at first. Hands on either side of her head, holding himself aloft, he starts to move slowly at first. It is different. She is looser but thicker, as if the muscles used to press Becca out, where strengthened by their exercise. It feels amazing. He knows she worries so he stills for a moment and meets her eyes.

“You feel incredible. Beautiful inside and out. Don't worry that you are not pleasing me. I have ne' been more, satisfied. Ne' been more complete in a woman’s arms.”

“Jamie I…oh God I..”

“I know. Oh how I love you.” He can't hold back and pushes farther into her. She gasps and arches up, meeting him thrust for thrust. With a shudder he feels soul deep, she clamps around him and sighs out his name. He presses tight, so he is testes deep in her and cums himself.


	30. In The Still of the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the quietness of a nursing session, deep in the night, the Fraser's talk. Will Claire finally confess her feelings?

After they catch their breaths, he stands and offers her his hand. “To bed Mrs. Fraser?”

“It will be more comfortable.” She stands herself. “Let me go take this out.”

“Aye. I will move Becca to bed.” He lifts the baby up and heads upstairs. She heads to the bathroom.

Later, they lay wrapped in each other with Becca still asleep beside them.

“I want to say it, you know. I do it is just..”

“You are scared.” He supplies as he cradles her head against his chest.

“Yes. Love is not something I easily trust. To be that vulnerable with another. I have given my heart to her,” her hand slips out and touches her daughter’s chest.” I had to. But..”

“Claire, I told you that you could take your time. I meant it.”

“I know. It is just you say it with every touch, every kiss. I just want. “

“You do too. Words are not always needed. I feel how you feel for me. Truly. We've a lifetime. You needn’t stress over not being able to say three words.” 

“You really know?” She moves enough to meet his eyes in the firelight.

“Aye. I do. When you are comfortable, you can tell me. Now rest. Our daughter will be waken soon.”

She snuggles back down and he kisses her hair before closing his eyes. She lay awake longer. He knows. She knows. Why can’t she just say it? She can to Becca. She tells her all the time. Telling her husband should be as easy as telling her child. 

Becca wakes a few hours later. She feeds her without waking Jamie, changes her nappy and they both drift back to sleep. The next time she awakes is in the dead of the night. Jamie hears her first. He tries soothing her before waking her mammy.

She is more asleep then awake as she places the baby on her breast. “Thanks babe. I love you.” Her own words fully wake her and she meets his startled eyes. “Wow. I really do.”

“Say it again.” He requests, his voice hoarse with sleep and unshed tears.

“I love you. I love you Jamie. I really do.” His tears start to fall as he kisses her. Their tears mingle together as they kiss over their nursing daughter.

“I love you too.” He breathes against their joined lips.


	31. Three Months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Becca is three months, her mammy is starting her first catering job. Will a report on the telly change everything?

“I can't believe she is three months old today. Where has the time gone?” She says that morning as they dress for the day. He smiles as he changes his daughter’s nappy.

“It is something. They really do grow so fast.” He lifts her up and looks into her face. “Good morning princess. You are a quarter of a year old today.”

“Oh God!” Claire replies as she twist her hair up in a bun.

“And your mammy is having trouble dealing with that.” She looks like Claire, he thinks as she babbles back at him, in all but her coloring. “Yes? Is that so? Well lass, I think she knows that but I will tell her.”

“What are you two talking about?” She walks over and Becca reaches for her. “Good morning Becca. What were you telling daddy?”

“Oh just that not to be upset at her growing. That that is what children do. Each stage is a sweet miracle to look forward to and she will always be your baby girl.”

“That is true and a lot to say, Becca. Mammy gets you and daddy's point. I will try to celebrate this stage knowing it won’t last long but the next will be just as worthy of celebrating. Besides, we have a lot to do today.” She says as the baby watches her with wide eyes. “Yes, we have to go to the market for us and to get some stuff for mammy's first catering job. I have to make up a menu first. Lot’s to do!”

“I am very proud of you.” Jamie hugs her from behind and Becca reaches for his nose. “Owe! You too princess Becca with the strong grip.”

“Let go of daddy's nose. He has to go to work himself.” She disengages her and he comes around and kisses her soundly. He then kisses the top of Becca's head.

“Anything you need me to pick up?”

“No but thanks. Becca and I will handle it.”

“Okay. Ring if that changes. Heck ring anyway as I miss you when away.”

“You are so sweet. I love you.” After the first time, a month ago, she finds it so much easier to say.

“I love you. You too stinker bug.”

She decides yo watch the morning news as she makes up menus. She had breakfast and nursed Becca, who now plays contentedly on her back, with the mobile. She smiles down at her as she lists the ingredients she will need. She is only half listening to the talk of the weather( more rain excepted, of course), sports( rugby and football), until a word got her full attention. Rape

“The suspect was picked up right outside Edinburgh. He matches to description of the man sought by the police for the rape of the 18 in Edinburgh. He is suspected in many more but the police only have one description. He had been careful not to let his face be shown.” 

A booking shot flashes on the screen. A black man. She catches her breath. For the shape of his nose, the curve of his lip, the darkness of his skin, look back at her in her daughter.


	32. Shock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Jamie start to deal with the effects of her rapist being known.

Her hands are numb. Her heart pounding so hard she feels sick. She clicks the telly off and just sits. Her mind is a whirlwind. What does she do? What should she do? He is in jail. That is good. But, he raped others. That is bad. So bad. If she would have told. Is she to blame? But she wouldn’t have Becca. Becca, oh Jesus! If she tells will he come after her! This thought sends her running to the loo where she is violently sick.

“Claire, hey I am home.” He is immediately on guard due to the silence. It feels heavy and expectant. He hurries through the house. “Claire! Becca!”  
He finds her in their room, cradling the baby. Her eyes are wide open but he knows she isn't seeing him. 

“Claire love what is wrong?” He joins her and checks to see if Becca is breathing. Christ, he can't imagine what else could put that look on her face. He breathes a huge sigh of relief to find her breathing fine, just deeply sleeping. He gently removes her from her mam's arms and pulls her into his. 

“Him.” It is one word that says it all. 

“Did he come around?” he tries to ask her calmly but his rage bleeds through.

“No. No. He was on the telly. News this morning. Arrested for rape.” Her control breaks and she weeps in his arms. He rubs her back and tries to sooth. “My fault. If I would have told. What now? Do I tell the police? If I do will he come after us, after her? I am so… I couldn’t break down. Couldn’t anything. I don’t know what to do. Please what do I do?”

“I am here. Let it out. Then I will feed you. I wager you haven’t ate today.”

“Not since breakfast and that didn’t..”

“Okay. You know Jenny's husband is a lawyer. How about we ask him? Most important is two things. It isn't your fault and no one will come after you or Becca. I promise.”

“I didn’t go to the market. I couldn’t leave. I needed to… I need to. Maybe..” She tries to get up and he holds her back.

“We will go together. Tomorrow. Food, a good hot bath, a talk with Ian. Okay?” He knows her shocked system can't make any decisions now. 

“Okay. But I didn’t go. There isn’t much here.”

“Take-away. I will order in. Claire, it will be alright. I swear it.”

“I am so scared.”

“I know. I will not let him hurt you or Becca.” 

“Okay. Okay.” 

He calls and orders dinner, then calls Ian. After, as Claire baths, he holds his daughter and goes online to find a picture of the man who raped her mam. He wants his face seared in his mind.


	33. To See Her Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie and Ian discuss how to keep Becca safe and Claire's rights and responsibilities. She discusses her fears. Jamie decides to try to reach her psycitrist.

“Thank you for coming out this late.” Jamie greets them at the door.

“Tis' family.” Jenny replies. “Where is she?” 

“Our room. Curled up on the bed with Becca. She won’t let her out of her sight.”

“I don’t blame her.” She walks upstairs and Ian joins Jamie. 

“Whisky?” He offers.

“Oh aye.” They sit down with full tumblers. “So, she is sure this is the man?”

As an answer, Jamie pulls out his phone where the booking shot of the bloody bastard is stored. He shows it to him. “Aye, she is.”

“F*ck!” He brother-in- law says, “Damn, I can see him in that sweet baby.”

“I know. God damn it all! I want to go to that jail and rip him open. Tear him to pieces!”

“But you won't because they need you.” He finds his eyes, “Are you hearing me? I understand the urge but you simply cannot give in to it. As a husband and father, your job is to protect them. You can't do that from prison.”

Jamie takes a steading breath and then another. “I hear you. I don’t do it. I still want to but, I will fight legally. He can’t have any contact with Claire or Becca. We must but safeguards in place before she thinks of going to the police.”

“That is why I am here. Do we have the bastard's name?”

“Aye, Emory Jefferson.”

“Good. I will file papers in the morning to terminate any parental rights he may have to RJF. Her initials will only be used. I will also ask for a quicker hearing on your adoption petition. We will see her safe. As for Claire and her rights and responsibilities, she has no legal obligation to report.”

“What of the moral one?” She asks as she steps into the room holding Becca tight. Jenny stands beside her. “He raped this woman and others after me. Had I reported him, maybe they wouldn’t be victimized too.”

“Claire, you didn’t know a thing about him. You could have reported but until this latest woman saw his face, they still had nothing to go on.”

“That is what my head is saying, but Ian, my heart is broken for them. Tell me, would it be safe to report now with the only evidence being her existence?”

“Give me tomorrow. After I file to terminate his rights and after I fast track the adoption, then it will. I will go in with you, if you wish. Represent your and Becca's interests.”

“Thank you. Jenny, will you watch Becca that day?”

“You know I will.”

She lets out a breath and collapses on to the couch. She hands her daughter to her aunt and curls into Jamie. He lifts her onto his lap. “It will be okay baby. I promise. No one in this room will allow you or our daughter to be harmed again.”

“I just feel so… God I feel sick and guilty, relieved he is caught tempered by deep fear for Becca. My thoughts are running a million miles an hour. Nightmares plague my dreams when I can sleep. I can’t eat.”

“I am going to call Anna. See if she can see you.”

“Jamie it is after midnight.”

“She is your doctor and you need her. Let me see, okay?” She nods and he rings her office. He leaves a message through her service. Then they all wait.


	34. Home Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Cho makes a house call.

Anna is knocking on the door a half hour later. Claire is on the couch, holding a sleeping Becca, with Jenny beside her. Ian goes with Jamie to answer the door.

“Dr. Cho, thank you for coming.” Jamie greets her.

“You are welcome Mr. Fraser. Where is she?”

“Living room. This way.” They lead her in. Claire doesn't look up at their entrance. Anna looks at all the others.

“Mr. Fraser, I need to be alone with her.”

“Right.” Jenny stands and joins Ian. Jamie reaches down to take the baby and she comes alive. “No! No, Becca stays with me!” Her arms tighten around the baby and she starts to squirm in her mammy's arms.

“It is okay. The baby is fine.” Anna quickly interjects. 

“Claire, we will be in the dining room.” Jamie tells her. She nods. He kisses her bend head and leaves with a sigh.

The two are quiet for a time as Claire sooths her daughter back to sleep. Anna has taken a seat beside her and patiently waits.

“I saw him. My rapist. On the telly.” She says. She is still rocking the now sleeping Becca and Anna knows it is soothing for her too.

“It was a shock.”

“Yes~ a shock yes. I hadn’t seen~ until I saw her ultrasound I didn’t~ I didn’t even know his race.”

“So seeing him?” The shock won't allow for a normal therapy session so Anna must guide some.

“I knew right away. My daughter~ mine! My Becca, she shares his forehead, his ears, lips, the shape~ the shape of her face. He can't have her! Can't even know she exists!”

“That is your fear.”

“He mustn’t” she stops and looks down on her child. “Yes that is~ I must tell, must try to help the others. If I would have~ if then maybe more wouldn’t have been..”

“Claire, what would you have told them? You hadn't seen him. Do you think they could have captured him with your report?”

“Maybe not but~ I don't know ~ he is stopped now but the only evidence is her. I can’t~ can I? To tell, to place her in danger, for strangers. Jamie~ he and Ian ~ Jenny’s husband. Oh, you don’t know any of them. Jenny is Jamie's sister and her Godmother. She didn’t trust me at first but ~ What was I saying? Right, Ian is a lawyer. He is helping by having Jamie adopt Becca and terminate his ‘parental rights'. Parental Rights! He should not have any! Right?”

“They are making it safe for Becca.”

“Yes. Trying. But, I don't trust him. At all. What if I report what he did and he finds me, finds her. He could~ oh god! He could do anything!”

“Claire, you are not required to report. If you aren't comfortable, you needn’t.”

“It would strengthen their case. Right? The more evidence, the more they know. I think about that then I think about Becca. She is the evidence, her DNA. They are making her safe but.. I want to see justice but not at her expense. But, if he gets away, away with it and is back out on the streets. My mind goes a million miles an hour. Spinning through all the possibilities. I don't know what to do.” She looks at her to tell her. She can't. She can only help her come to an answer she can live with.

“They have arrested him. He got sloppy, let his face be seen. They must have DNA and other physical evidence. Other then her DNA, there isn’t much more you can give them. He probably is a pattern rapist. What he did with you, he probably did with the others. So, can you live with him receiving justice if it doesn’t include your rape or getting justice with a small risk to your daughter?”

“I don't know!” 

“You don't have to today. You can think on it, wait on your brother-in-law to see to her legal safety. Let the justice department work as you live your life. For you must do that Claire. He mustn’t take that away.”

“Right. He is locked away. We are safe.”

“Can you sleep or do you need me to give you something?”

“I am nursing. I can’t.”

“I can give you something safe for her. She would just be a bit sleepy. You are a good mam Claire. You are allowed to see to yourself too. If you can't sleep, it isn’t good for her either.”

“I could use something.”

“Okay.” She pulls out samples of a mild sedative. “One before bed. I will write out a prescription for a week. No more until I see you again.”

“Thank you. To come to our house so late..”

“You are my patient and you needed me. Take the pill and get some rest. You or Jamie call my office in the morning, well later this morning. I want to see you in a week. You can call sooner if you need me.”

“I will. Thank you.”

She walks towards the door and Jamie stops her. “I gave her a mild sedative. I need to see her in a week. See the baby safe, let her decide when or if to report. She will be okay in time.”

“Thank you Dr. Cho.”

“See her to bed and call if needed. Make sure to make the appointment.”

“I will.” He puts Claire to bed and Ian and he make plans for the next day.


	35. A Circle of Protection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie tries to keep Claire safe before he heads to Ian's office to do the same for his daughter.

“There needs to be someone with her at all times.” Jamie paces through Lallybroch's large great room, running his hands through his hair. 

“Do you think she is a danger to herself or the bairn or is it this bloody rapist that concerns you?” Jenny asks. She sits on the couch beside her husband. Murtagh, who had also been called in, stands against the fireplace kerping silent guard.

“I think she needs to be surrounded by people she can count on to be there for her. No, I don’t think she will hurt herself or Becca. The bloody f*cking rapist is locked away. But, she is struggling. Knowing what the right thing to do here is hard. If there is always someone she can turn to and lean on, vent to or be silent with. Someone who can sooth her and/ or a fussy Becca, well, I just think it will help.”

“Aye. But won't you be here Jamie? I know you have rescheduled all of our upcoming meetings or made them conference calls.” Murtagh asks.

“Aye and I thank you for being flexible there. I will but Ian and I have to go in the office tomorrow, or later today, to do up the papers speeding up my adoption of Becca and terminating that bastards parental rights.”

“He has them!” Murtagh calls out.

“Unfortunately yes. As the biological father, he does unless the courts find him unfit. As a rapist, a serial rapist, he will be. We will file the paperwork tomorrow to start. The lass will be protected as we will only use her initials in the filing.” Ian explains.

“Christ. The thought of that man getting anywhere near that sweet lass makes me…. Well, I am just glad you are on top of it Ian.”

“Aye. I understand. I feel the same.” 

“What do you need me to do Jamie?” His Godfather asks. 

“Stay here with Jenny and Claire while Ian and I are at the office. I don’t wish to have the lasses here without a man.”

“I will be here.”

“Thank you. I will get back to the office as soon as possible but I will need you to take more responsibility for a bit.”

“You know that isn’t a problem.”

“I will make it up to you. Give you a long vacation later.”

“We are family. You needn’t worry.”

He tries to smile at him. “Jenny try to take as much burden off her as you can. Expect for feeding, which she must do, the nappy changes and all, can you..?”

“Do you think me a numpty brother? I ken fine what she needs. I know you are worried but, come now. I will take good care of your wife in your steed.”

“I know you will. I am sorry.”

Assignments given, he holds her close the rest of the hours until dawn. He and Ian leave for his office right after breakfast.


	36. The Law

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Jamie start the legal ways of protecting Becca.

Jamie had never considered the law in any way past how it effects his business. But now as he sits in his brother-in -laws office, with the awestruck realization that what he can do with a few strokes of his pen, can save his wife and daughter untold heartache, his respect grows to almost worshipful levels.  
He watches as he enters data into his computer, flowing with legalize, incomprehensible to Jamie. He could care less if he can. The judge will. That is all that matters.

“This will work.” Ian looks up to tell him. Jamie smiles nervously.

“How did you know what I was thinking?”

“Your doubts were coming off in waves. Look. I get it. If it was Jenny threatened, our bairn, I would be mad with worry and the need to do something. But you are. Trust me. I've this.”

“Thank you. I do. It is just.” Ian just smiles and returns to his work. A bit later and it is ready. He pulls it up from the printer and the head across the street to the courthouse. 

“Ethel, I need to see his honor.” Ian tells the lady manning the desk.

“Ian, you are lucky. His docket is clear this morning. I will let him know you are here.”

They are taken back a moment later. Jamie has never been to court for any reason and isn’t sure what to expect. The man before them is tiny. With his robe and wig off, he could be anyone.

“Ian, what a surprise. You have nothing bending on my calendar.”

“I know Martin. We hope to change that. Meet my brother-in-law, Jamie Fraser. Jamie, hi honor Judge Martin Brown.”

“Your honor.”

“Mr. Fraser, you may call me Martin in chambers.”

“Thank you. You can call me Jamie.”

“Very good. Now that we are on a first name basis, what can I do for you gentleman?”

Ian and Jamie quickly lay out the situation. “If you can sign the termination order and make room, soon for the adoption hearing, then the lass will be protected.” Ian finishes.

Martin frowns and turns to Jamie. “Your wife, she is sure this gentleman is her rapist and the biological father of her child?”

“Aye.” He pulls out his phone and shows his honor pictures of both.

“I see. I can see it but just physical resemblance isn’t enough. We will need a DNA test.”

“Iffin! Begging your pardon but that is what Claire seeked to avoid. She doesn’t wish that he know of the child.”

“I understand and I feel the same. I know of his crimes. He needn't know. Only that he may have fathered a child. We can compel a DNA collection. We will take one from the child. His from jail. Her's from her doctor's office. They will never be near each other.”

“Thank you. That will help. If he is her bio ahh..”

“I have seen what he is accused of. Read testimony from his victims. He will not be allowed to be a parent to your sweet daughter. I will sign the order as soon as the results come in. I am also putting the adoption hearing on my calendar for early next week. I will do all I can, legally, to see her protected.”

“Thank you sir.” Jamie is shaking with relief. Martin hands Jamie a paper ordering the DNA test.

“You are very welcome. Take this with you to her pediatrician. They will see it done and sent where it needs to go.”

He is thanked again and they leave. Now to tell Claire.


	37. Are You Crazy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire reacts to the men's news in an explosive fashion.

“Are you out of your mind!” His wife stands in the middle of the living room, holding Becca tight as he, Ian, Jenny, and Murtagh look on. He had just told her about the needed DNA test.

“Claire the judge needs to prove..” Ian tries. She wheels on him. Her eyes are blazing and he takes a step back.

“I don't give a flying f*ck what he needs! I need to keep her safe. Don't you understand that?”

“We do. You know that. That is truly what we are trying to do.” Jamie chimes in.

“By letting that unholy bastard know he has a child!” Her cry startles Becca and she starts to cry. Jenny, so very brave, walks up and reaches for her.

“You are upset lamb. She senses that. Let Aunt Jenny have a go at soothing her, aye?” She releases her to her aunt. Jenny moves away from the tense circle and to the next room, softly cooing to her. 

“He will not know who.” Ian adds.

“No! How many woman do you think he has raped, huh! Since rape is not a capital offense, though it should be, he will get out. He can then just look us all up. Then he can find her. At ten, twenty, even thirty, it matters not! I do not want him knowing her, seeing her, breathing the same air as her.”

“Baby, I get it. Do you think I do? Christ! I wish to remove his blasted manhood and choke the bastard with it. I will give my life to protect her and you. That is what I am trying to do. By removing his rights. By adopting her. “ He approaches her with the care of a ticking bomb. He carefully pulls her close. “If there were any other way. We have to do this. I swear to you. I swear it, I will keep you both safe.”

“We all will.” Murtagh adds.

“We all swear it.” Ian agrees. 

She is weeping and can’t speak but she nods. She trust her husband and his family, their family, to keep her safe. But she is still so scared.


	38. Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire scrwams and talks it out with Anna.

“I couldn’t see how I was to make the choice. I knew I needed to. No one else could for me. Jamie he~ he wished to help. Wanted to~ take the pressure off me. But, in the end, it had to be me.” She stands and starts pacing around the room. Anna watches in silence. She needed to get it out, then they can talk.

“All them, pledging to be there for her, to protect her, it helped. I know they will the best they can. But it was Jamie. I knew and know, he will lay down his life, if called to, for either of us. So, from the shelter of his arms, I nodded. From there, well, it was as easy and gut wrenching as a trip to her pediatrician.

We went that very day. Jamie and I. We took her in and it was done. Simple the actual test. Just a simple scrap of the inside of her gums. She didn’t even fuss. I wanted too. I wanted to scream, plead, over myself in her place.” She stops and does scream. A ‘arrrr' towards the ceiling. Anna doesn't even flinch. “Christ! To have to place her in danger to protect her! What kind of exchange is that? I knew there would be tough decisions when I decided to keep her. That I would be making decisions that would permanently affect her. That I would second guess myself. I just never expected to be doing this. By doing the DNA test that will help Jamie adopt her I am also putting her at risk of that bastard finding her one day. But I bloody had to!” She stops, leaning against a bookcase, and takes several deep breaths. “Tell me I did the right thing Anna.”

“You know you did the only thing you could have done. This facilitates Jamie’s adoption of her. That is the best thing you can do to protect her.”

“I know. The best and only choice can still be hard.”

“Yes it can.”

Claire comes back over and sits back down. “I love him. I told him that well, before all this.”

“I am glad to hear that.”

“I don't know if I could get through this without him.”

“He helps, no doubt. But, you could because you are a strong smart woman who puts her child first.” Claire gives her a half smile.

“Maybe but it is sure easier with a partner and his family who are becoming my family. Family. It is an amazing thing to be able to say my husband, my daughter, my sister. “

“People that are yours.”

“Yah, and not just temporarily. I never had that. I want to offer Becca the same. Permanency . Security.”

“You are well on your way to doing that. I know you worry that you may have messed up with the DNA test. There will be lots of times you will wonder if a decision you made was right. They won’t all be because you are human. But, as long as they are done out of love and with her best interests at heart, you didn’t feel guilty about them.”

“Thank you Anna.”

“By the way, I don't believe this decision will fall into that category. You did the right thing.”


	39. For Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire makes a decision about reporting and shares some details from the rape with Jamie.

She had been real quiet since returning home from therapy. She came in, picked up Becca to nurse her. He takes a seat beside her and waits. He understands that it had to be a tough one, this therapy session. 

“I ah~ made a decision.” She says after Becca has been feed, burped, and changed. She now lays content on her mam's lap. Claire is bouncing her as she speaks.

“About?”

“Reporting the rape. After she is safe, all the legal stuff done, I will report it. For her, you see. I want her to know, when she is old enough, that I did all I good to see justice done for her and myself.”

“That is very good baby. Very good. You know though that they may not be able to prove it. With all the time that has passed and..”

“They are holding something back. The police. Something only his victims know.” He takes their daughter, now asleep, and places her in the cradle. He takes his wife’s hands.

“What Claire?”

“You have never asked for details. I thank you for that. But I will tell you this. He tucked us in. After, with my head covered with my own shirt, he tucked me into bed. Neither of those details were released to the public.”

“Christ!” He whispers.

“So, when I report they can see I am not lying.”

“Yes true.” He is in a rage. He treated them like dolls, like children. He violated them and then treated them such!

“Jamie?” She is concerned about his red face.

“I am just so bloody angry and sick for you Claire. You and the others.”

“I know.”

“Sorry Claire. You need me not to be so.. Sorry.”

“I need you to feel whatever you are feeling and allow me to do the same. Please don't censor yourself for me.” 

“In that case, I wouldn’t mind so terribly much if her was strung up by his bollocks in the town square, covered in honey and bird seed so the birds and bees could slowly, painfully kill him.”

“Nice. I would like to see him choked on them but I like your way too.” He smiles at her and she smiles back. It reaches her eyes and he knows they will get though this.

“I love you very much Claire Fraser.”

“I love you too Jamie Fraser. You and our daughter.” They snuggle close together, content.


	40. Legal Stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which all the legal stuff is worked out.

She is pacing nervously back and forth. Today is the day they get the DNA test back. If the bastard is her father( biologically) then they can go to court to have his rights terminated. Then they can preside with Jamie’s adoption of her. It all comes down to the helix strand.

Jamie and Ian watch her as Jamie bounces a giggling Becca on his knee. She doesn’t know her life could change, be made secure today.

“And, up and down and round and round. That is the way the horsey goes.” He sing songs as he bounces her. Claire shoots him a nervous smile.

“It should be any time now Claire.” Ian strives to reassure her.

“I know.” A few minutes later, Ian’s cell phone rings. They all get quiet, even Becca. He takes a deep breath before answering it.

“Hello. They are and.. For sure. Yes, it is good news. Aye a copy to my office and Judge Brown's. Thank you. Goodbye.” He turns to Claire. “Emory Jefferson is 99.5% proven to be the biological father of Becca.”

“I knew.” She sinks down beside Jamie and reaches for Becca who comes eagerly to her. “I saw the~ in her.”

“Aye. We all did.”

“Now to remove him from her future. I will head to Judge Brown's chamber and get the termination papers signed.”

“He will sign them, right?” Claire is apprehensive about it, understandably.

“He will. He was just waiting on the DNA. I promise to return with the papers and a court date for her adoption.”

“Thank you Ian.”

He is back an hour later. He grins as he hands her the order of the Termination of Parental Rights. She collapses on the couch as tears of relief run down her face. 

“We have a court date tomorrow.”

“So soon?” Jamie asks.

“Martin agrees that the sooner we get the lass permanently made a Fraser, the better.”

“Yes please.”

They are before him the next morning. He smiles down on them and their assembled family. “You understand, Mr. Fraser, that this makes Rebecca Julia Fraser, your legal daughter, with all the same rights as a child born to you, including inheritance?”

“Aye. She already is.”

“That is what I like to hear. As Rebecca cannot speak on her own behave, I will ask her mam. Claire Fraser, do you agree to your child’s adoption?”

“Wholeheartedly yes!”

“Wonderful. It is my honor and privilege to sign the adoption order for Rebecca Julia Fraser. Congratulations to you all.”

A cheer goes up started by Jenny. It is quickly picked up by all of them. Jamie lifts Becca up and proudly announces,” The Fraser's are here!” as the court officer snaps pictures. They take their daughter home where the celebration continues.


	41. Reporting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire reports her rape. Tw the rape is described.

They take a week to celebrate Becca officially being a Fraser. The joy and relief are overwhelming. But she knows she has another thing to do. 

“I think it is time to report.” She tells Jamie that morning. “I have called Jenny to come a stay with Becca. Ian is meeting us at the police station.” He is awed by her strength and growth. She has gained such a wonderful sense of herself since he has meet her. Proud only begins to describe it.

“Wonderful love. I will go get the princess ready, eh?”

“Yes thank you Jamie.” He dresses her as she laughs and plays with his hair as he bends over to fasten her nappy.

“Ye wee ratten. You like your da's hair, do you?” Her giggles get louder. “Come, see if your mam has breakfast for you.” She has just recently been started on cereal. Claire nurses her then feeds her a bit of oats and barley mixed with a bit of breast milk.

After she nurses her, Jamie feeds her the cereal so mam can get ready. “Aunt Jenny is coming to watch you for a bit. Mam and I have something to do. We shouldn’t be gone long. You will be good for her auntie.”

“She will.” She is dressed in her best dress. Her hair is brushed to a shine and pulled back. She wears just a bit of make-up. She, as always, takes his breath.

“You are so beautiful.”

“I just wanted to look decent and responsible. Believable.”

“You do.” He wipes Becca's face and hands as she tries to squirm away. “Be still. You must be clean before I give you to your mam.” Once she is clean, he hands her over so he can get ready.

Jenny arrives soon after he emerges in dress pants and a button down shirt. Jenny and Claire approve.

“You both look nice. Very respectable.” She takes Becca. “Hello lass. Ready for some auntie time?”

“She has a bottle in the fridge. She has been nursed and had cereal. She should be fine but. “

“Dinna fash Claire. I've her. I am so very proud of you. You are doing the right thing. I will be praying for you.”

“Thank you.” She hugs her and kisses the top of her daughter’s head.

Ian meets them out front. She holds tight to Jamie's hand as they walk in. 

“Aye lass, how may I help you?” the desk sergeant asks.

“We need to speak to the head detective on the Jefferson case. “Ian answers.

“You folks have some information?”

“Yes. I am one of his~ he raped me.” Claire states. Her voice is steady but her hand shakes in Jamie’s. “I am Claire Beauchamp Fraser, my husband Jamie, and my attorney Ian Murray.”

“I see. Come. Follow me.” They do past multiple desks. Finally they reach a door. He knocks. “Detective Duncan, I have another one of Jefferson's victims.”

“Survivor.” Claire responds. “I am no victim.”

“See her in.” A female voice responds. Claire relaxes farther. 

They walk in and the lady behind the desk stands. “Detective Gillian Duncan, Claire and James Fraser and their barrister Ian Murray.” He slips out after the introductions.

“Have a seat.” They do and she seats back down. “May I call you by your first names?” They all nod.” Good. Claire, I like you call yourself a survivor. For you are. Please tell me about what happened.”

“Fourteen months ago.. I tried to pretend it hadn’t happened… When I discovered I was pregnant I thought about.. But she is mine too… I knew as soon as I saw his face. My Becca has his features. A DNA test confirmed it.”

“So, you are the one. We knew someone had conceived when we got the DNA order.”

“Yes. I knew but to have his rights to her terminated, we had to have the test, prove.”

“The lass has been legally freed from him and Jamie has officially adopted her.” Ian adds.

“Wonderful news. This freed you to come in?” 

“Yes. I had to see her safe first.”

“Agree. Claire I know it is a lot. But, I need you to describe the rape.”

“I know.” She bites at her lip, takes several deep breaths. She retakes Jamie's hand. “I was coming home from work. Had placed the key in the lock. He came up behind me, placed a cloth over my face. I woke up less then a minute later. He has pulled my shirt over my face. He is pulling at my bra. My pants are off. I start to scream and feel his hand go on my mouth. I then feel his cock in me. He presses into me. The pain is unimaginable. I was a virgin, you see. I am to shocked to fight. I just submit. It doesn’t take long. He then moves off me. My shirt is still blinding me. I hear him moving about. I pray he is done. He is. Just one other thing, he tucks me in. Placing the blankets and sheets tight around me. I hear him leave and lay in shock for a bit longer. When I get myself together enough to move, I wrap up in the blanket and go check the door. He has locked it and left the keys on the table by the door. I shower until I run out of hot water, strip and remake the bed, and try to forget.”

The room is silent for a minute. “That is him alright. All the other survivors report the tucking and the re securing of the houses and flats. Like he is a date that just loved and left.”

“Can she and our daughter receive justice?”

“Jamie is it?” He nods. “Jamie, the only evidence of the rape is the baby. It is her word against his. Even with the matching details, it isn’t enough. But, I promise you both, justice will be done. We have enough to get the maximum sentence. He will not see the outside of a prison.”

“That is good.”

“I am so sorry Claire.”

“No, it is okay. Really. I needed to tell and have it believed. He will pay. Becca is safe. I am fine. Better then fine. I feel free.”

“Grand. That is how it usually works. I will keep you informed of the court procedures.”

“Thank you Gillian.”


	42. A Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Becca gets ready to turn one, her mum does some reflecting.

She looks at her daughter. She sleeps , stretched out on her back, her hair a riot of curls behind her. She has grown so much. At almost a year, she is starting to grow out of her baby fat and was getting lean, like her mum.

She will be a year old in a week. It is hard to believe. So much has changed. Jamie and her are closer then ever. The counseling has helped a lot. She is working through the shame and guilt, through the fear. This was helped by the fact that her rapist was found guilty and sentenced to thirty years. 

Jenny and Ian had a brand new baby. Little Margret Ellen was born just five days ago. Holding her reminded Claire of when Becca had been that young, that tiny. She missed those days. Not that she is not blessed with the toddler she is becoming. She had taken her first step a few weeks ago and now alternates between crawling and walking. She has a few words: da, mam, no, aye. She is become her own person. It is a wonder to see. She stands by her crib and watches her. Her almost one year old.

“What are you thinking mo gaul ?” he came up behind her, placing his arm around her waist, drawing her back to him.

“Maggie, that our luv is almost one. The difference a year makes. That time needs to slow. How blessed we are. And,” She turns in her husband’s arms, “How much I love you both and that it is time she had a sibling. I want another Jamie.”

“Are you sure you want them this close together?”

“I am. I want them best friends. I never had what you and Jenny have. She has a cousin that she will grow up close to. That is good. But, I want her to have a sister or brother that she can fight and scheme with. I want to find them whispering together late at night when they are to be sleeping. I want someone to have her back and she theirs long after we are gone. A forever friend.”

“You can handle this with the catering business?” Beauchamp Catering was a grand success doing brisk business.

“I can. If the sickness is as bad as it was before well, the Mary's and Annalise can make up the orders for a few months.” Her three employees are almost as good as she is.

“I would love it. I just wanted to make sure you thought it through.” He smiles and kisses her. He is a very blessed man.

“Becca is asleep. The orders are done. What do you say to a bit of baby making loving.”

“I say, let’s go.” He sweeps her off her feet with a giggle and carries her to their room.


	43. Names.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire is five months pregnant and they are discussing names.

“Christ Jamie! Look at me. I am huge.” It is six months after Becca turned one. A month after she found out she was pregnant again. They are overjoyed. Now at five months, she is unable to fit in any of her pre-pregnancy clothes.

“No you are just pregnant. With our child. Eating right. Proper care. It makes a difference.” He meant it as reassurance but she, very hormonal, heard it differently.

“Are you saying I didn’t do right by Becca? That she won’t be as healthy as this one?”

“No my love. Look at her.” She does where she plays with her dolls and blocks. “She is very healthy, on top of all the charts. Recall the doctor says she is testing at two, six months ahead of where they expected her to be. She is wonderful. You were and are an amazing mam to her.” She relaxes at his words. He walks up and puts his arms around her. 

“Thank you. I just worry.”

“Tis' natural. As for this wee one, well all I meant was all the nutrition isn't going to him or her. You are getting what you need too.”

“Right. I am. Maybe to much.” She frowns at the mirror.

“Nae. Gillian says your weight gain is perfect.” He turns her away and sits her down. “I was thinking, as we are getting the ultrasound tomorrow and will know the gender, maybe we should discuss names.”

“I would love too. As we have one R name, if this one is a boy, I would like to stick with him having a first name that also starts with R, unless you wish a Jr.”

“Nae, I don’t. R, hmm. Robert?” She makes a face.

“Ryan?”

“Nae, Rupert?”

“Please no. Riley?”

“Riley? Riley James Fraser. “

“I really like that. Becca?” She looks up from her building. “How would you like a brother named Riley James?”

“No mam. Becca have sister.” She states before turning back to her toys.

They look at each other and laugh. “Well then. I guess we better think up a lasses name as Miss Rebecca Julia is so sure she is having a sister. Another R name?”

“Not necessary.” She is still giggling.

“Good because I have the perfect one.”

“Yes?”

“Elizabeth after one of the strongest lasses I know. She could be Lizzie.”

“Oh Jamie.” Tears immediately fill her eyes. “Thank you. I really love that. Elizabeth Jane. Jane for the strongest woman I know. Her Aunt Jenny.”

“Claire God! That is bloody perfect.”

“Bad word da.” Becca scolds as she gets up and walks towards them. “Why cry?” She climbs up between them.

“We just named the baby. It made us happy. Happy tears.” Her mam explains.

“Baby.” She lays her head over her mam's bump. “Becca baby.” 

“Aye, Becca, mam, and da's baby. Little Riley or Lizzie.” They will find out which tomorrow.


	44. A Child is Born

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The baby arrives.

“I can’t wait to be through with this pregnancy.” Claire is thirty-nine weeks and five days in and so over it. Past the stage where sweet comments like: you are glowing. Isn't it wonderful to be carrying a life. And the like make up for the lack of sleep, the constant heartburn and need of the loo. She wants to see her child. 

“It won't be long now.” Jenny says with a smile. They are shopping with two year old Becca and 18 month old Maggie. The girls, holding hands, walk in front of them. They are both outgrowing all and need new clothes. 

“So everyone is saying. But I feel like I will be pregnant forever.”

“I recall that feeling.” She looks at her daughter with affection.

“I do too. You just tend to forget.”

“Aye. If we didn’t they would all be only children.” Claire laughs and then gasp as a huge pain goes through her followed by a flood of water. She looks at Jenny in panic. “Don't freak. Deep cleansing breath.” She takes one as Jenny calls out to the lasses. “Come your auntie and mam is in labor.”

She is taken to a chair. Jenny calls Jamie and Ian. The girls are quiet, awed by the enormity of the event.

“Jamie and Ian are meeting us at the hospital. Ian will take the lasses.”

“Okay.” She is breathing through the pain. 

“Well you wanted this over.”

“Can I change my mind?”

“Far to late luv.”

Jamie is pacing in front of the hospital. He runs to them when the pull up. 

“Mam is having our baby da.” Becca informs him.

“I ken love. Isn't it exciting?”

“Aye. I am going to stay with Maggie and Uncle Ian?”

“Aye while mam has the baby. Aunt Jenny and I are going to help her.”

“Okay da.” She turns to her mam. “Be okay mam?”

“I will baby. It is just hard work. But~ I will be okay.” The pain is ramping back up. Jamie turns his daughter towards her uncle and cousin. He nods and leads him towards the car.

“Come lasses. Let's get you home. We will have a tea and some movies, eh?” 

“Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!” she leans against the wall and tries to ride out the immensity of the pain. Jamie is there, rubbing her back.

“Almost over baby.” 

“Grand! Why don't you take the next one?” she growls.

“I would if I could.” She has been in labor now for ten hours. Approaching seven cms., she is feeling every nerve at it's surface. Jamie and Jenny are the subjects of her wrath. 

“Come love, let's walk.” Jenny urges.

“You bloody walk! Ohhhh!” She cries out. Jamie presses tight on her back as he flashes a look to Jenny. A minute. The contractions where less then a minute. Jenny nods and runs after a nurse.

“Okay Claire, you are at nine cms. Just a few more.” Gillian tells her. 

“I can’t. It is to f*cking painful!”

“I know. But you can. You are.” Claire sits, squatted on the bed. Jamie is behind her. Jenny had stepped out to update Ian and Murtagh, who had joined him to help with the lasses.

“Ugggg,” she groans as the pain runs back through her. Jamie holds tight to her hands and does all he can to help her ride out the pain. 

“Grand job. Just a lip left. One more and you can push.” 

She closes her eyes and grunts to provide herself from screaming. She is able to push with the next contraction. 

She pushes as her legs and arms shake. Waves of hot and cold runs through her. The pressure is immense. She feels like she is being torn in two. She hears them, Gillian, Jenny, and Jamie. All encouraging. She tries to focus on them but must go inward to find the strength she needs. 

“A few more like that.” Gillian says, “and you will have your baby.”

A grunt, a breath, another grunt. Jamie supporting her from behind. Jenny wiping sweat from her brow. Gillian massaging her rapidly stretching opening with oil to prevent tearing. 

“Good. Good. I see hair. Grab a breath Claire and give us another, just like that.” She gathers the very last of her strength, and pushes. “Grand. Okay here comes the head. Pant for a second Claire while I clean the mouth and nose.” A quick, he he he,” fills the room. “Okay, one more.” And knowing it really is it, gives her the strength to give that final push. She feels the shoulders and then the hollow feeling as the baby slips out of her. She feels her breath hold until her child takes the first one. A scream follows and she is able to breath.

“Here she is mam. A wonderfully unhappy baby.” She lifts the red haired, still crying baby on to her chest. Her , Jamie, and Jenny stare at her with tears running down their faces.

“Hi Elisabeth Jane. I am so glad you are finally here.”


	45. Meeting Lizzie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the family meet Lizzie.

The baby is cleaned, dressed, swaddled tightly, and placed in her mam's arms to nurse. Jamie watches with fascination as their daughter takes her first meal. Claire runs her hands over her silky red hair as tears drip down her face.

After Jamie asks her if the others can come in. “Yes, Lizzie is ready to meet her audience.” He grins and slips into the waiting room to get them. Murtach and Ian lead Becca in. She holds back, clinging to them.

“It is okay lass. Come meet your new sister.”

“Sister. Becca's sister?”

“Yes baby. Come see Lizzie.” She responds to her mam and hurries to her side. Jamie lifts her up and carefully places her beside them. “Elizabeth Jane meet your big sister Rebecca Julia. Becca meet Lizzie.” Her wee hand comes out to touch her hand. The baby clings to her finger.

“Oh! Mam Da. She has me. Lizzie has Becca.”Murtagh, who has been tasked as the photographer, cries behind the camera.

“She does. Forever and ever. She will be your forever friend.” Claire replies.

“Forever.” She says awed as she stares at her sister. Lizzie stares back. They are forever bonded in that moment.

Ian comes up. “Is it okay if I hold Lizzie?” he asks Becca.

“Yes Uncle Ian, you may.” Jamie transfers her.

“So wee. It is hard to believe my Maggie was ever this wee.”

“We will blink and she will be as big as the other lasses are.” Murtagh says with a laugh.

“Hush your mouth.” Claire says from the bed.

Ian talks softly to her before handing her over to Murtagh. He carefully looks into the eyes of his Godson's birth child.

“I promise, as I promised your da and big sister, to be here for you. To let no harm come to you, if I can prevent it. I will always be close by Elizabeth Jane, if ever you have need. This I swear.” Jamie, who had been taken pictures, records this little speech. 

“My baby grandda. Bring Becca back Lizzie!” 

“Oh boy.” Claire says as Murtagh chuckles.

“Okay little miss.” He brings the baby back over and relays her in her mam's arms. A sleepy Becca curls up against them and falls asleep. 

They all head home the next morning.


	46. First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Becca's first day of school is how the story ends.

He watches her sleep for a minute. He doesn’t wish to wake her. To turn her from theirs to a student. Five years isn't enough time for her to be just theirs. But it is inevitable. He hears Claire and Lizzie chatting in the kitchen as they prepare breakfast. So, with a sigh, he reaches down and wakes her.

Becca, unlike her melancholy da, was looking forward to this day. She is a big girl now and so ready to show it by going to school. She jumps right up. “School today right da?”

“Aye. School today.”

“Brilliant. Is mam and Lizzie up?”

“Aye they are in the kitchen.” She hurries that direction. He follows more slowly.

“And they have desk and I will learn to read better and my maths and so much more!” she tells her awed sister over breakfast that morning. Jamie listens with a smile. She is brawl and bright. Beautiful and courageous. She is ready. 

“I know.” Claire says as she leans his head against his neck. “She was just a newborn.”

“Aye she was. Now a student with Lizzie close behind. Time needs to slow.” She smiles a bit wistfully. 

Later as she helps her into her school uniform and tames her curls into a pony tail, he finds out he isn't alone in not wanting her to go.

“Da?”

“Aye Lizzie?”

“Must Becca go? Canna you and mam teach her all that?”

“Oh my lass, it is time. She needs to go to school and learn, grow, and explore. Then she can come teach you all she knows. When you head to school, you will be ahead of the others that don't have a Becca.”

“No da. Lizzie isn't going to school. Stay here with mam.”

“For a bit longer, aye.” He lifts her up and she rests her red hair against his. Before either is ready, it is time to take Becca to school.

When they get there, his confident lass disappears. “Mam Da, I changed my mind. Can we all just go home?”

Oh how he wants to say yes! But, “Rebecca, you can do this lass. You have meet your teacher and know she is nice. Recall all the stuff you want to learn. Your mam and Lizzie will be here to get you at two. Then you can tell you all about your day when I get home. And I will tell you about mine. Deal?”

“Deal.” She pulls in a breath, kisses and hug them all, and enters her first major tests of childhood. Her parents watch her with pride. 

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I am thankful for every kudo, comment, like and reblog. Y'all rock😀💓😀💓😀💓😀


End file.
